How do I find the type of girl I'm looking for?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

How do I find the type of girl I'm looking for?

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  • King_of_Steven
    Participant
    March 11, 2017 at 4:40 pm #129846
    How do I find the type of girl I'm looking for?

    Hi everyone,
    I’m extremely shy and have never dated before. I tried signing up for OkCupid and a couple other similar sites without success.
    These are the things I’m looking for: Cute (not asking for a model here), no tattoos, white or Asian. Preferably atheist. Non smoker or drug user. No alcohol either would be ideal. No parties or hookups. Gamer and liking sports would be lovely but not at all necessary. Intelligent.

    Yes I know that’s a long list but I believe it should be if we’re talking about ideals. But the key thing is that I haven’t found anyone close. Not even someone who is nothing like this. Finding this type of girl in particular though is quite difficult. If she’s like me, she’s probably hiding at home somewhere. She won’t be at a social event. She might be extremely private too.

    So my question is: where can I go to try and find her? I am out of ideas and hope that you have some.

    Thank you in advance for your help and especially for taking the time to read this!


    Always_the_Nice_Guy
    Participant
    March 12, 2017 at 10:25 pm #129864

    Put yourself out there and talk to women at work, college, even the grocery store. Keep the conversation light and add in some humor. Only way to have a chance at meeting a girl of your preferences is to get to know someone personally.


    King_of_Steven
    Participant
    March 13, 2017 at 12:07 am #129867

    I appreciate the advice, but thinking about that I have to wonder: if my ideal girl is just like me, who’s to say that she is even out and about at these types of places? She could be just as reclusive.


    FrostyPianist
    Participant
    March 13, 2017 at 11:17 am #129910

    Honestly you won’t know until you try. I met my current girlfriend at a cultural club at my university. Going into it I was just joining the club for fun and yet I managed to meet this amazing girl who’s also really shy in a lot of situations. So despite what you may think there’s a good chance you’ll find someone who’s compatible with your personality.


    dunners2004
    Participant
    March 13, 2017 at 9:25 pm #129980

    Use tinder its a great way to meet new people


    King_of_Steven
    Participant
    March 14, 2017 at 9:03 am #129889

    what are you looking for in a lady

    Hi everyone,
    These are the things I’m looking for: Cute (not asking for a model here), no tattoos, white or Asian. Preferably atheist. Non smoker or drug user. No alcohol either would be ideal. No parties or hookups. Gamer and liking sports would be lovely but not at all necessary. Intelligent.

    Yes I know that’s a long list but I believe it should be if we’re talking about ideals. But the key thing is that I haven’t found anyone close. Not even someone who is nothing like this. Finding this type of girl in particular though is quite difficult. If she’s like me, she’s probably hiding at home somewhere. She won’t be at a social event. She might be extremely private too.

    ^dream


    King_of_Steven
    Participant
    March 14, 2017 at 9:03 am #129891

    These are the things I’m looking for: Cute (not asking for a model here), no tattoos, white or Asian. Preferably atheist. Non smoker or drug user. No alcohol either would be ideal. No parties or hookups. Gamer and liking sports would be lovely but not at all necessary. Intelligent.

    ^that’s what I wrote above


    King_of_Steven
    Participant
    March 14, 2017 at 9:04 am #129930

    Honestly you won’t know until you try. I met my current girlfriend at a cultural club at my university. Going into it I was just joining the club for fun and yet I managed to meet this amazing girl who’s also really shy in a lot of situations. So despite what you may think there’s a good chance you’ll find someone who’s compatible with your personality.

    The trying is the scary part. How did you identify that she was single and that she would say yes to you asking her out?
    Not sure as a grad student if the club thing is possible. Have to check.


    King_of_Steven
    Participant
    March 14, 2017 at 9:04 am #129931

    The trying is the scary part. How did you identify that she was single and that she would say yes to you asking her out?
    Not sure as a grad student if the club thing is possible. Have to check.


    Louis Richards
    Participant
    March 14, 2017 at 1:12 pm #130034
    Reply To: How do I find the type of girl I'm looking for?

    lol


    Louis Richards
    Participant
    March 14, 2017 at 1:13 pm #130035
    Reply To: How do I find the type of girl I'm looking for?

    Exactly!

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    March 14, 2017 at 4:26 pm #130073
    Reply To: How do I find the type of girl I'm looking for?

    if you’re hunting for ideals with a very specific profile in so many areas – good luck.. there is a reason why you haven’t found anybody.
    narrow it down to what matters most to you and leave it at that. in fact.. i’d recommend making a list of DEALBREAKERS and then anything else is open game.

    the more on your list, the more you’re narrowing it down.. the higher chance the person doesn’t exist or there’s only a few of them.. which then begs the question “and how many of 4 do you feel will then want YOU specifically as their #1?” See th eproblem with your method?

    Keep the list as you can. Make a list of DEALBREAKERS you will not date. Open it up to everything else and give it a try.

    Lastly. whatever those qualities are, just think where those types would hang out or do – GO THERE and DO THAT to bump into them.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    March 14, 2017 at 4:28 pm #130074
    Reply To: How do I find the type of girl I'm looking for?

    btw.. it is actually a more effective strategy focusing on what YOU bring of value to the table as a potential mate and working on THOSE things to make you desirable. Then let them come to you. Then you can have your choice. It’s all good to come up with your demands.. but again the secret is.. how do you make a gal that meets your demands want you back? Just cuz she fits your profile doesn’t mean she’ll want you back.

    i’d actually focus on yourself. then they’ll start coming to you.


    JaneyR
    Participant
    March 15, 2017 at 10:40 am #130131
    Reply To: How do I find the type of girl I'm looking for?

    Listen, as the person above me said there’s a problem with making those lists. Also I understand you’re shy, so putting yourself out there is probably pretty difficult. But there’s no doubt that if you want to meet someone, it’s nessecery. Maybe you can sign yourself up for any activity that intrests you and that involves other people your age. I also think you need to change an attitude. Don’t make the goal meeting the one for you, but try to focus on expanding your social life, the number of people you know. The more people you meet the bigger the chance you find someone you could be attracted to and like. Lose the list thing, try to befriend people. when you find someone in particular that caught your interest try to get closer, to really get to know them. If you find out you guys have fun together and that you actually have feelings, that’s all that matters. What I’m trying to say is, don’t try to check that list before knowing people, they’ll never stand a chance not will you.


    Frankr1998
    Participant
    March 19, 2017 at 8:08 pm #130507
    Reply To: How do I find the type of girl I'm looking for?

    I think eventually someone will come no point trying to rush the perfect woman on dating sites. Just trust you will find her

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