How do I handle this problem?


How do I handle this problem?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    April 4, 2017 at 5:54 pm #132092
    How do I handle this problem?

    My current situation is extremely confusing. I only recently broke up with my boyfriend, and he has been giving me some serious issues. The problem is that I have started to develop feelings for his best friend, John. Knowing my ex, he has most likely told John a lot of things, if you know what I mean.
    Now here’s the confusing part: I have hardly talked to John all year. I haven’t a clue why I have grown so attached to him, and if I had any bravery to talk to him in person before, how can I do it now? I am very socially awkward, and talking to people or starting conversations isn’t my forte; what makes it worse is that John doesn’t have a phone, which kind of limits our interaction.
    I don’t know what I can do at this point. I’m not sure how to start a conversation, and I’m pretty sure he knows by now. After all, we’ve been sharing these awkward glances and he always catches me looking at him. What should I do?

    April 4, 2017 at 6:31 pm #132095

    Stay away from exes friends. Nothing good comes out of it, unless you know for sure it’s long term. Find a new boyfriend who doesn’t know your old one. Would you like it if your ex started dating one of your friends you hang out with and tell things to? Just think what you would do if you were in his situation. There are plenty of fish in the sea where you don’t need to talk to a friend of your ex.

    April 13, 2017 at 7:13 am #133092

    Never a good idea to date a friend

    April 14, 2017 at 10:35 am #133269

    Do you still have any feellings for your ex boyfriend? Some years ago there was a friend of mine that was interested in me and wanted to have a relationship. However i was not in the same vibe as him and just told him that i didn’t want to be with him as a girlfriedn. At the same time as he wanted some help to conquer me, he started to talk with a friend of mine Carolina and she was helping both of us to get into a relationship. With the time she started to develop feelings for him and after some time we had a conversation and i just told her that if i doesnt love him but she loves, they just deserve to be happy together. And in fact they married last year and have a long 9 years happy relationship. And we are all great friends.
    Dating a ex friend can be a good or a bad ideia it just depends how all the involved persons deal with that. Is not easy, but it is also not impossible. If you don’t try you’ll never now (sorry for my bad english).

    April 14, 2017 at 8:55 pm #133358

    It can be doable, I’ve had it happen to me. And sure, it can sting.

    But if you don’t do it in hiding, avoid the ex, or make it particularly hard on the ex, I don’t see it being a problem.

    If you’re no longer on good terms, or speaking terms with the ex, then no harm no foul, it’s your lives.

    If you’re in the same circles, or are still relatively on talking terms, then see if there is something on John’s end, and if so, be upfront with your ex about it.

    That’s my two cents anyway, as someone who was on the guy’s end of the situation a few times (both badly handled, and handled respectfully)