How do I stop feeling jealous of other couples?

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How do I stop feeling jealous of other couples?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    LoneWolf
    LoneWolf
    Participant
    November 20, 2017 at 7:45 pm #157017
    How do I stop feeling jealous of other couples?

    Over the past few months I’ve been developing really bad feelings of envy towards other couples in public. I’m currently single and am trying to get into dating at my own pace, but seeing so many other happy couples around me just puts so much pressure on me, even more so when they’re younger or even more introverted than I am. I can’t help but feel resentment whenever I see another couple, experiencing thoughts like “How are they possibly together?” or “Why them and not me?”. I am fully aware that these are toxic, irrational, unhealthy thoughts and I want to stop them, but I have no idea how. I’m worried that if I allow these feelings to continue I’ll eventually jump into a relationship too early or make some other bad dating decision, but I just don’t know how to stop feeling them.

    LoneWolf
    LoneWolf
    Participant
    November 20, 2017 at 10:18 pm #157029

    I’m aware of and constantly tell myself stuff like this, but it doesn’t get rid of that resentment I feel at others for already having had their “right time” come.


    NorwegianboyEE
    Participant
    November 22, 2017 at 3:19 am #157155

    Boy do i know that feeling. >_>
    I was sitting on the train some days ago while this guy beside me was getting his hair stroked by his super attractive girlfriend. The fact that the guy had a shit-eating grin too made me want to punch him right then and there haha. Of course i am aware these feelings of jealousy are toxic and useless. it’s not like acting on these impulses will help me to get a girlfriend myself. 😛
    Yeah i have never dated any girls so i am even more perplexed by these beings known as “boyfriends.” I have absolutely no clue how one is supposed to go from single to a relationship. Thus it’s understandable for me that you feel jealous and angry at these people who somehow seem to “get it” while us lesser fortunate souls are sitting in the shadows angrily staring..
    But yeah seeing as i feel like i’m in the same situation as you my advice is to simply realize that being angry at these people will not help you in any way! Rather you should learn from them!
    -Nor


    deeski
    Participant
    November 22, 2017 at 12:41 pm #157223

    you should never be envious of any one man. just look at it like this…you don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes in their relationship. on the surface it may appear as if they are happy but in all actuality it may be the complete opposite. I truly overstand how you feel in seeing that and longing for that. just keep in mind what I said. don’t go looking.BT hats where most go wrong. when the time is right you will be sent someone until then work on self and embrace your situation. truly take advantage of being single. this is a time to truly focus on self until you meet someone. don’t even look their way. I know easier said than done eh? my best to you.

    LoneWolf
    LoneWolf
    Participant
    November 22, 2017 at 4:25 pm #157256

    “I have absolutely no clue how one is supposed to go from single to a relationship.”

    That’s the thing. I feel this resentment because it’s like everyone around me knows some sort of secret to finding love. Then I tell myself that this is irrational and that they just met their SO by chance, and this makes me feel even more resentment because their happiness is the result of pure luck.

    “don’t even look their way. I know easier said than done eh?”

    I can usually just ignore couples in public since they’re complete strangers, but there’s one particular person I’ve been avoiding hanging out with because he always brings his girlfriend with him. She doesn’t even do stuff with us; she’s just there because she wants to be with him, and I always look for an excuse to leave because spending an evening by myself is less depressing than being a third wheel.