How do i tell him

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How do i tell him

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    vivrant__thing
    Participant
    February 19, 2017 at 5:48 pm #127554
    How do i tell him

    Im 22 and dating a guy my age. We’ve been dating for a few months and I feel I vibe very well with him and its reciprocated. I told him early on Im not ready for a relationship yet. Well, early last week a family issue has been plaguing him and hes needed distance. When he first told me about, I have to admit that I was pessimistic and didn’t believe him. I went so far as to say it. I understand it was selfish; please don’t crucify me for it– ive taken ownership for it. Well, he was very understanding and still patient with me even when i told him i didn’t believe it, because i could relate. Well, now he’s really stressed between what the family issue is right now and he let me know yesterday how he feels about me and that he doesn’t want to bring his stress to me from the family issues, and I feel very nonempathetic for being ignorant to how someone else may rationalize their issues, just because I handle my own different. Im a handful n hes always sweet so how do i say im here 4 him


    ellie123
    Participant
    February 20, 2017 at 2:41 am #127568

    hey! i’m sorry you’re having issues 🙁 honestly, just tell him flat out that you’re here for him if he needs anything. a sweet and simple message along the lines of “hey, i’m sorry you’re having a rough time right now. i completely understand that you need distance, but i just want you to know that i’m here for you if you need absolutely anything”, would be nice. try to understand that people work out their own shit differently and need different periods of space. don’t bombard him with texts, but check in with him periodically to see how he’s doing. try to stay busy so you’re not constantly worrying about this.

    i hope everything works out. i’m sure it will if it is meant to be. all the best xx


    vivrant__thing
    Participant
    February 20, 2017 at 7:10 am #127574

    Thank you so much! I sent him something along the lines of that and really appreciate you taking the time out to help me

    SM28
    SM28
    Participant
    February 20, 2017 at 7:11 am #127575

    Give him a little space reassure him that your there if he needs you but don’t let him take advantage of that kindness, maybe buy him a gift when you next meet just as a small gesture to try make him smile


    Poupinette
    Participant
    February 20, 2017 at 7:47 am #127577

    Hey,
    I think honesty is always the best policy. You could tell him that you cannot relate to his problems and that is why you’re having a hard time to either believe what he is saying or being empathetic. Just figure out how much you want to be involved in his problem and then let him know if you’re willing to hear about his problems and be there for him.