How does this guy feel about me?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

How does this guy feel about me?

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    October 10, 2017 at 10:01 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!


    AlexxA
    Participant
    February 8, 2017 at 6:12 pm #126196
    How does this guy feel about me?

    So this guy added me on Facebook, through mutual friends (went to same college but never met) thought I was cute, and started talking with me. He’s 27 and I’m 25. He asked for my number and now we talk every single day. He mostly initiates all of our conversations. I do once in a while to show interest, but, try to let him chase a bit. Don’t want to seem too interested.

    We have been talking for two months now. He’s very nice, smart, and confident, which makes me very attracted to him. I’m very passive, so someone with such a dominant confidence, pulls me out of my shell a bit, which I love.

    His family lives here, so he was home for a few weeks from school for winter break. We made plans to hangout twice, but he had to cancel every time because he had many family commitments to attend to while he was home for such a short time. He claims he did try very hard to see me and did really want to meet me, but time got away from him.


    AlexxA
    Participant
    February 8, 2017 at 6:13 pm #126197

    Now he is back at school 4 hours from here (driving). He initiates most conversation with me still almost every day. We send snap chats so I know who I am speaking with, and we text for hours.

    We flirt a lot, and sometimes he gets suggestive with his messages, but I have made it known, that I am not a booty call, sleep with him right away type of girl, and I won’t be doing that. Sometimes I find myself almost feeling like I have to keep reminding him that I am not an easy girl, because his comments seem very forward. For example, one night he said “You know what would be fun, me in your bed.” I don’t want to seem like a prude who can’t have fun, but I also don’t want to be some girl he hooks up with. I like to date someone, get to know them, trust them, and then hook up when it feels right. He claims he knows I am not this way.

    He insists that it is not his intention with me and that he sometimes does it to get a rise out of me. To shock me. He can tell I’m sort of innocent.


    BlunderBuss
    Participant
    February 8, 2017 at 9:02 pm #126204

    I think he’s telling the truth. Guys looking for a hookup are like water; they follow the path of least resistance. There are enough girls out there who are up for that sort of thing, that if it’s clear that you’re not, they’re not gonna waste their time on you. I think he’s acting this way because you guys have been talking so long, he’s afraid you’ll lose the spark. Guys are “trained” to get a date as soon as possible after getting the number, or risk the girl losing interest, or becoming more interested in an easier guy (easier as in able to go out when you can.) It sounds to me like he’s just really into you, and a little worried he’s gonna lose you.


    AlexxA
    Participant
    February 9, 2017 at 8:35 am #126198

    I’m not a virgin, but not experienced with men. He was very concerned when I told him I got into a car accident a few weeks ago, which was nice. He keeps hinting at us meeting when he comes here for a weekend in April, but I am not holding my breath, since he bailed a few times before.

    He has asked me many times to make the drive out to visit him at school, but I told him no. I am not desperate, not a booty call, and he’s still sort of a stranger. If we were dating, I would, but we are not, and he could have seen me while he was here.

    I feel like I do have a wall up a bit. I don’t know him in person, and I’m protecting my heart. I’m afraid of being let down and getting hurt. I want to be genuine with him and more carefree. But I can only just be me. One night he told me to be more “open,” with him, and to not shut him down. I didn’t realize I was doing such a thing. I told him that I didn’t mean to but that I “worry about being so open with someone I do not know.”


    AlexxA
    Participant
    February 9, 2017 at 8:40 am #126206

    Well now I haven’t heard from him all day and night yesterday and all day and night tonight. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to chase him. Why didn’t he try to see me when he was here, when he had the chance?


    AlexxA
    Participant
    February 9, 2017 at 8:40 am #126205

    He was very concerned when I told him I got into a car accident a few weeks ago, which was nice. He keeps hinting at us meeting when he comes here for a weekend in April, but I am not holding my breath, since he bailed a few times before.

    He has asked me many times to make the drive out to visit him at school, but I told him no. I am not desperate, not a booty call, and he’s still sort of a stranger. If we were dating, I would, but we are not, and he could have seen me while he was here.

    I feel like I do have a wall up a bit. I don’t know him in person, and I’m protecting my heart. I’m afraid of being let down and getting hurt. I want to be genuine with him and more carefree. But I can only just be me. One night he told me to be more “open,” with him, and to not shut him down. I didn’t realize I was doing such a thing. I told him that I didn’t mean to but that I “worry about being so open with someone I do not know.”

    Sue315
    Sue315
    Participant
    February 9, 2017 at 11:35 am #126309

    I hope you aren’t waiting for him. Date other guys and live your life. Texting and snap chat do not make a relationship.A guy that really wants you in his life will make it happen,you won’t wonder what it is!!


    AlexxA
    Participant
    February 10, 2017 at 9:54 am #126422

    I’m starting to like him and get attached. Its hard not knowing where he stands on it. I mean we’ve never even been on a date. The other day we were joking around about food, and he throws out “I really like you” and then he follows up with “and pizza.”

    My friends took it as a good sign that he does like me and was trying to tell me, but didn’t want to make it too emotional and gushy, so he tried to joke around with it. Words are words though and I can’t hold them in high regard. I question if it’s my own insecurities that are making me doubt everything. He seems to like me. Texts me every night still. Proves me wrong every time I think something bad. Since he is far away communication is all we have. When he messages me a lot and flirts with me, and acts into me, I know he likes me. He is very busy at school, and he works too. He’s told me he’s busy many times, and very tired, but usually he always messages me. I don’t want to seem like I am sitting around waiting around for him.

    Sue315
    Sue315
    Participant
    February 10, 2017 at 12:53 pm #126476

    Don’t put your life on hold for someone that couldn’t make time to see you ever!!!! If he wanted to he would have seen you! I lived like you are for years and I am now with a guy that can’t do enough for me or see me enough. I made excuses and overthought everything before. I don’t need to do that now because he is there!! Texting is only for quick check in and to ask short questions because we see each other.
    You are too dependent on something that is very superficial. I was there,I know how you feel very well. Date other guys and let him know you are…..

    Sue315
    Sue315
    Participant
    February 10, 2017 at 12:56 pm #126477
    Reply To: How does this guy feel about me?

    Why don’t you try meeting halfway?? 2 hours for both of you?? Words are words,actions show how much someone really cares. He could just be a lonely guy….I can’t even tell you how many of those I have talked to,texted and chatted with!!!


    AlexxA
    Participant
    February 10, 2017 at 2:07 pm #126483
    Reply To: How does this guy feel about me?

    Thank you for your advice. I like him. He seems to really like me too. Its hard because his life is there right now. We didn’t have enough time to know each other, before he had to leave. He is so busy. He works, goes to school, and then is on a sports team. Some days it seems he leaves at 8AM and isn’t back home until 9-10PM.

    People in my life definitely think he likes me, but maybe knows that his lifestyle does not constitute a relationship. A guy friend of mine said he may like me, and is just trying to keep a casual connection there, but knows it can’t be more right now, until he comes back home. So casually texting keeps that connection, because he doesn’t want to lose me, but can’t be physically here for more serious encounters. I mean he’s in school now, and then all summer he will be travelling playing semi pro sports. A game a day for three months. Then he will be back at school.


    AlexxA
    Participant
    February 10, 2017 at 2:09 pm #126484
    Reply To: How does this guy feel about me?

    I’m not putting my life on hold, but I am talking to him daily. I have goals and obligations here that I have to figure out and I can’t be waiting around for some guy. I have a good job, good friends, great family. I don’t want to wait around in hopes that something happens. But I also know I don’t meet guys that much whom I really hit it off with, and I like this guy. From what I know of him, he’s nice, smart, motivated, confident, cute, etc… All really good traits that I don’t stumble across all that often.

    He’s not a bad guy. He seems very busy and talks to me when he has time, which is nice. Its hard because communication is all we have, so I use that as a basis for feelings, which is totally not the right way to be.

    I feel like I can’t gauge his feelings, and I have a huge wall up, and I am also struggling with self-doubt myself. We have been talking for two months. If he didn’t like me, I think he would have ended this long ago.


    AlexxA
    Participant
    February 10, 2017 at 2:11 pm #126486
    Reply To: How does this guy feel about me?

    He proves me wrong every day when he messages me and is so nice and fun with me. I keep thinking “Oh well he probably thinks I’m lame, stupid, he saw a fat picture of me, or he thinks I’m boring.” I think I’m putting all this doubt and pressure on something that isn’t there.

    I just need to stick to being me. I want to be more open and carefree. I feel like I keep trying to impress him and make myself sound so great. But then I also don’t want him to leave me once he sees me for who I really am, so sometimes I tend to work vomit out minor flaws.

    He should like me. I’m smart, pretty, quirky, flirty, and have a lot to offer. I keep trying to remind myself of that. One of my friends also told me that if something I say or do turns him off that badly, then he isn’t the one for me. She is so right.


    AlexxA
    Participant
    February 10, 2017 at 2:11 pm #126488
    Reply To: How does this guy feel about me?

    One of my friends also told me that if something I say or do turns him off that badly, then he isn’t the one for me. She is so right. She also said how if he really likes me, then anything I do or say will be okay with him, because overall he likes me. She is right there too. I keep being so paranoid and overthinking. I’m scared I will scare him away. I’m trying to stop being so in my head about it. I think I keep overthinking it where I come across as too “I don’t need a man” or I come across as overly available. I want to find a happy medium. Me. Just myself and my personality. I keep trying to keep myself busy. I am focusing on short term goals. Things that will happen in the next few days or week. So that I am not overly focused on what is happening with him.

    How do people deal with this? Not getting overly attached and excited over a new crush that it consumes your life? Overthinking? Not getting ahead of what is actually going on?


    Nannerbananer
    Participant
    February 11, 2017 at 12:56 am #126558
    Reply To: How does this guy feel about me?

    I personally would not pursue a guy like that. Even though you’ve expressed that you aren’t only interested in sex, he seems like he is. Guys will stop at nothing just to have sex and may even but up a pretty convincing facade. I agree with your friends that he’s probably not the right one for you. Please be cautious when beginning relationships or seeking out love interests based only on physical attraction. Best of luck to you and your adventures!

1 2