How long do I wait before asking her feelings?

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How long do I wait before asking her feelings?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    orangepancake
    Participant
    June 26, 2016 at 5:36 pm #104104
    How long do I wait before asking her feelings?

    A few months ago, I met a wonderful lady on an online dating site. We have been out for several dates and currently see each other about once a week. I am finding that the more I see her, the more I like her and the more I want to see her. Days when I don’t see her are just agony. However, it hasn’t progressed much beyond a situation that feels like two friends going out. After the third date (about 2 months ago) she said that she’s not really sure what she wants at the moment, but hasn’t said anything since.

    I know that I’ve fallen for her pretty hard, but I also respect her feelings and don’t want to mess up what could be an amazing friendship. But inside I’m really torn. Do I wait and hope that something happens, or do I just ask her how she feels now? The last thing I want to do is scare her away or pressure her. I’ve had conflicting answers to this from my friends (both male and female), so not really sure what to do here. Any advice would be much appreciated.

    rasputinsix
    rasputinsix
    Participant
    June 28, 2016 at 9:41 am #104110

    Communication is key. TELL her how you feel. Nobody is clairvoyant. For all you know, she’s probably wondering the same thing about you. The best thing you could do is talk to each other and discuss where you’re both at in this stage of courting each other. Otherwise, you’re going to lose sleep and stress out over this when you could easily just talk about it with each other. You can’t fall in love without taking any risks. At least in my experience, that has always been the case.


    elusivehappiness
    Participant
    July 6, 2016 at 1:24 am #104487

    There really isn’t a certain deadline. Like it depends. It all depends. I think if she is the person you are saying, and she is an adult about things, then you should be straight up. Just ask her what she is feeling, but DO NOT pressure her to feel a certain way. If she is genuine, she will tell you, and you can proceed from there.

    SmoochWithMe
    SmoochWithMe
    Participant
    July 6, 2016 at 7:19 am #104491

    For a while forget about her feelings and think about your feeling; what you actually want. Then you try to tell her about your feelings. Then you found a good reply from her.


    ChooseUsername
    Participant
    July 7, 2016 at 10:16 am #104606

    Casually ask her what her feelings are for you. then follow up from there.

    dave268
    dave268
    Participant
    July 8, 2016 at 1:37 am #104664

    Right now i have the same situation, just tell her what do you feel. I understand how hard it is.
    It is the best what you can do


    viking
    Participant
    July 9, 2016 at 12:05 pm #104785

    Go for it!


    109ball02
    Participant
    July 11, 2016 at 8:15 am #104777

    So in 2 months, she has not said anything?? or just about that specifically?

    bnme90
    bnme90
    Participant
    July 12, 2016 at 2:27 pm #105028

    “Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle” — Abraham Lincoln


    cfd2016
    Participant
    July 15, 2016 at 11:59 am #105344
    Reply To: How long do I wait before asking her feelings?

    I think you can do it now just be real and upfront instead of creepy and overbearing. Speak from the heart but use your head


    Anonymous
    July 15, 2016 at 4:40 pm #105402
    Reply To: How long do I wait before asking her feelings?

    Sounds like maybe you fell for her harder than she has for you. Here is the thing you have to get clear about. What exactly do you want from her? You want to see her 2x a week? You want to exclusively date? You want to know if she wants to take things further? But what does further mean? BEFORE you talk to anyone about changing a situation and asking for something more or different than the normal pattern you have together, make sure you are very clear about what you are asking for….like DETAILED clear. Not “I have feeling for you and want to take things further.” That can be scary. But something more clear “I am really enjoying your company and would love to see you more often. I’ve been wanting to explore more museums and go on more hikes and would love for you to join me….would you be interested in hanging out a bit more?” That shouldn’t scare her away if she really likes you. If she is timid about the idea…then know she is NOT on the page as you.