How Not Too Try So Hard

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How Not Too Try So Hard

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    celmerjb16
    Participant
    September 26, 2014 at 8:37 pm #64931
    How Not Too Try So Hard

    this is the third God damn time I have had to type this, and I am getting pissed so I will be blunt, I am 16 with little to no dating experience, and I am crushing hard on this girl in my grade, perhaps too hard, I know I am getting subtle signs like she always smiling when I talk to her, she always makes eye contact with me when we talk, and she has open body language when around, me but because I have been getting a bit of the cold shoulder lately, I am uncertain of how she feels about me, so I don’t push it, or I am trying too hard which isn’t good, but I can’t find anything for a teen to use as a guide on how to stop trying so hard, so I came here, I ask this because a good friend of mine told me I am trying to hard but need to try less but I just don’t know how too, so I need some advice because I really like her I feel like I can be myself around her and haven’t really felt this way about another girl before so please give some advice, and help me, this is driving me crazy!


    mi314
    Participant
    September 27, 2014 at 11:46 am #64939

    For me ! You have to go out with her … Take her somewhere she really likes , trust me she will be happy and she will appreciate it .
    Now to get to know how she feels you have to make her feel special and you have to open up to her .. Just try it


    Anonymous
    September 28, 2014 at 7:06 pm #64971

    Hi celmerjb16….girls can very confusing and it is very very difficult especially at your age. You are at a phase where everyone is still trying to figure out who the heck you are. The brain doesn’t even fully develop until age 21 where abstract thinking completes it’s growth. So understand that at your age, a lot of fickleness and mixed messages are pretty normal. Do not take it personally. I know my very first boyfriend wasn’t until I was almost 18 and every guy before that, I liked for about 2 or 3 weeks before something happened and I would lose interest.

    Okay….so first, at your age, because girls change their minds a lot, taking a more aggressive approach might help. A girl will send out the signals for only so long before she gets tired of waiting for the guy to make some type of move to take things further. So I would suggest to turn it up a bit. The ladies LOOOOOVE a confident guy! Taking charge and going after what you want, will at the very least flatter her.


    Anonymous
    September 28, 2014 at 7:10 pm #64972

    So maybe start flirting with her on another level. Have you guys even had some good conversations? Have you ever complimented her? Like how much you like her smile or her eyes or something that you feel comfortable with. Maybe you can leave her a hidden note in her backpack or slip a note in her locker??? That is courtship! and the ladies love it…that is, if they want to be courted by that guy. Either way, making your intentions known and clear may help the situation. If she still is non responsive or giving you the cold shoulder….I’m sure you will get the hint that she is not interested (there may be another guy who has caught her interest) and you can just be in the friend box with her. My very first boyfriend in high school was friends with me for an entire year before I finally started liking him….then he became my first love. He pursued me that entire time!!! He knew I was not interested and he respected that, but still wanted to be in my life in any way that


    Anonymous
    September 28, 2014 at 7:12 pm #64973

    he could. Then one day, and I remember the exact moment and what happened, I started liking him….we dated for about a year and had that wonderful, youthful love! Now, even 20 years later, we are still friends!!!! It’s awesome! So you never know what could happen! I hope this helps!!!


    Anonymous
    September 29, 2014 at 3:44 pm #64988

    Have you tried doing something with her after school? Try to come up with something fun that both of you would like doing (and go ahead and invite more friends too, so it doesn’t make things too awkward if you are uncomfortable with asking her out).

    Then you can also try to escalate physically a little bit with her. The deal with this is that you are going to have escalate physically if you want the relation to go somewhere and not get dump into the friendzone.

    So what you do is find an excuse to touch her a little bit. For example, come up with an excuse to high five her. Or come up with an excuse to hug her a little bit (anything is good, ask her a question and then say “Oh I love people who XXX (answer to the question), then hug her. ANYTHING is good.


    Anonymous
    September 29, 2014 at 3:47 pm #64986

    Have you tried doing something with her after school? Try to come up with something fun that both of you would like doing (and go ahead and invite more friends too, so it doesn’t make things too awkward if you are uncomfortable with asking her out).

    Then you can also try to escalate physically a little bit with her. The deal with this is that you are going to have escalate physically if you want the relation to go somewhere and not get dump into the friendzone.

    So what you do is find an excuse to touch her a little bit. For example, come up with an excuse to high five her. Or come up with an excuse to hug her a little bit (anything is good, ask her a question and then say “Oh I love people who XXX (answer to the question), then hug her. ANYTHING is good.

    Then invite her to some place after school, and repeat. Eventually, you want to escalate to touching her hair/a small kiss, etc.


    Anonymous
    September 29, 2014 at 3:47 pm #64987

    Have you tried doing something with her after school? Try to come up with something fun that both of you would like doing (and go ahead and invite more friends too, so it doesn’t make things too awkward if you are uncomfortable with asking her out).

    Then you can also try to escalate physically a little bit with her. The deal with this is that you are going to have escalate physically if you want the relation to go somewhere and not get dump into the friendzone.

    So what you do is find an excuse to touch her a little bit. For example, come up with an excuse to high five her. Or come up with an excuse to hug her a little bit (anything is good, ask her a question and then say “Oh I love people who XXX (answer to the question), then hug her. ANYTHING is good.

    Then invite her to some place after school, and repeat. Eventually, you want to escalate to touching her hair/a small kiss, etc.