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har7655ParticipantNovember 22, 2017 at 12:12 am #157154
So I’m a 22 year old guy who didn’t have a girlfriend until I was 18 at college and we were together for 4 years. We split up 3 months ago and I’m now in the position where I’ve never approached a random girl with the intention of getting her number. I want to but lack confidence. I tried talking to girls in the club but couldn’t even get close enough for her to be able to hear me before she told me to go away. I’m average looks at best and I’m short at 5ft 5.
I’ve heard lots of people say you don’t even need a sign of interest! If it’s in a coffee shop or something she may not have noticed you and you could miss a potential ‘love interest’. Having the balls to approach her without a ‘signal’ is confident and confidence is attractive!!!!! Just go up and start a conversation with her.
What do you guys think to the above point?
And any advice on building confidence or how to attract girls because I don’t get girls ‘inviting’ me to approach???
Alone247ParticipantNovember 26, 2017 at 1:36 am #157359
Be yourself. There are to many fake people out there. You’ll only find her if she knows the real you, so start from the beginning.
DeonvzParticipantNovember 26, 2017 at 8:52 am #157365
Just go for it!! If she bats you then it is her lost.
Daniel DrozdikParticipantNovember 26, 2017 at 4:02 pm #157368
This topic is really wideful that you won’t find a answer in this thread. TONS of books and ideas are for approaching but I am pretty sure I can help you!
So general hints:
Better to execute action than “I did nothing” – better to ask her out than “I didn’t ask her” – better to approach her than “I didn’t approach her” and then regret that because you can never know her opinion.
It doesn’t matter what will you say first unless you can translate it into conversation
give her a reason why she should spend a time with you
SknTdParticipantDecember 6, 2017 at 3:25 pm #159276
It depends on where you’re at — bar, store, coffee shop. What are you and she wearing? Is it a team sports shirt? Can you start a conversation by asking about it? I know as a woman that, “hey, can I get your number?” is a huge turn off.
lmk7ParticipantDecember 6, 2017 at 3:59 pm #159277
Make sure to use a clear, nonthreatening and appropriate distance and tone of voice when giving a compliment. And even leave without a full agenda or follow conversation that requires someone to engage if they are not feeling it.
lmk7ParticipantDecember 6, 2017 at 4:00 pm #159278
Come-ons and compliments are not the same thing. Deliver a compliment that allows the woman space to feel however she wants to feel about your words.
ninjaParticipantDecember 9, 2017 at 12:53 pm #159585
Im in the same position and i would suggest just being yourself
Jeremy23422ParticipantDecember 10, 2017 at 8:40 am #159589
I may be the one dissenting voice here.
Most women are cautious enough when approached in public that it requires a considerable amount of effort and energy to win their trust (with very good reason!). I’ve done it before, though I’ve never had a relationship grow out of it. In most cases, when I’ve succeeded short-term, it has been a situation where the woman was actually working at a particular place of business and I approached her repeatedly and got a date or dates – and even then it required a LOT of persistence.
Frankly I can’t imagine seeing a woman at a coffee shop or grocery store or something and approaching her, because for the woman, it would seem strange and startling. She doesn’t know you, so how can she trust you? And your motives may be 100% pure but how does she know that? It begs the question: “Why isn’t he meeting women through normal channels?” My advice: try an online dating site or in-person social group. Why make it more difficult than it needs to be?
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