How to Approach a New Boyfriend's Kids

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How to Approach a New Boyfriend's Kids

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    mandh
    Participant
    January 23, 2013 at 5:13 am #20997
    How to Approach a New Boyfriend's Kids

    My boyfriend and I have become fairly serious (“I love you”, talking about our future, etc.), and I have one concern that I’m not sure how to handle. He was married for 9 years, and they had 2 children together. I have never been married, do not have kids and I’m not really a “kid person”. I am an only child, and I was never around young children growing up. I never babysat, and I have no experience interacting with kids. I am on the fence about if I want to have a child, but I have definitely warmed up to the idea in the last year or so. I don’t dislike children, I’m just not used to them. My boyfriend will be sharing custody of his kids with his ex-wife, and they will be spending the entire summer with him. I’m not sure if I will be able to handle being around 2 young children (8 y/o girl and 4 y/o boy) on a regular and/or daily basis (we do not live together, but I see that happening in the near future). Screaming and chaos are very unappealing to me, but at the same time I am very much in love with my boyfriend and I want to be able to adjust to this new situation. I am completely willing to learn how to approach my new circumstances, and the fact that he has kids does not make me question our relationship whatsoever. I want his kids to like me, and I want their mother to feel comfortable with the fact that I am in her children’s lives. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, especially from someone who has gone through this in some capacity. I’d love to hear from someone who was in my shoes, and I’d also love to hear from someone who was in my boyfriend’s or his ex-wife’s shoes. I the situation to be happy and healthy for everyone involved, and I am willing to put in the necessary effort to make that happen. I have no experience with kids at all, so any type of guidance would be great.