How to build the confidence to initiate a conversation with a woman?

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How to build the confidence to initiate a conversation with a woman?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Brian12
    Brian12
    Participant
    November 30, 2012 at 12:25 am #17716
    How to build the confidence to initiate a conversation with a woman?

    Recently I went to a party, and I saw the one of the cutest girls I have ever seen being a wallflower in the corner. It seemed quite obvious that she didn’t have too many friends at the party and she needed someone to chat with. However, I just could not build up enough confidence to approach her. I kept telling myself it would be a bit creepy to go over and talk to her – even though I know that probably wasn’t true. I guess what I really needed was a conversation starter that would result in a good conversation that wouldn’t end abruptly, and awkwardly.

    Does anyone know of any good conversation starters for this type of situation?

    whatno
    whatno
    Participant
    November 30, 2012 at 5:35 am #17731

    You should have talked to her! She would have loved it. I’m sure she was quite bored and was hoping all night that someone would talk to her. There’s no excuse for not doing it. You wouldn’t have been creepy, unless of course you were talking about something creepy – don’t do that.

    As far as a good conversation starter. I dunno. Anything would have been fine. She would have been happy to talk about anything. Women love to talk, especially women who are bored and NEED to talk to keep their mind occupied.

    carlycatz
    carlycatz
    Participant
    November 30, 2012 at 11:37 am #17775

    Hmm, I instantly imagined there was drinking involved so you could’ve asked her what she was drinking and start conversation there?

    I remember reading a great idea once. Go up to her and pick a girls name and ask “Hey have you seen Samantha?” and start describing this Samantha with all the features your pretty wallflower has “She has curly hair, about your height, pretty smile…” and when she says no, just move on to talking about her and give a quick compliment “Well, you look very nice tonight-What’s your name?”

    Haha, idk seems like you had a chance to catch her off guard and get her thinking about a few things before she (potentially) rejects you if things go awry.

    Girls will be nice if a guy is nice back. No need to be sarcastic or witty, just a genuine hello is all we want 🙂


    srv123
    Participant
    November 30, 2012 at 2:45 pm #17826

    If all a girl wanted was a genuine hello, we wouldn’t need dating sites lol

    carlycatz
    carlycatz
    Participant
    November 30, 2012 at 2:53 pm #17830

    If all a girl wanted was a genuine hello, we wouldn’t need dating sites lol

    I didn’t just recommend a “hello.” That would definitely be weird. But my example shows that a guy should try to be genuine and truly be interested in holding a nice conversation. Pick up lines and witty things aren’t that great but I’m sure a lot of girls like that too. Guess it’s whatever you’re comfortable with saying. Just be confident!


    srv123
    Participant
    November 30, 2012 at 2:58 pm #17833

    But you did say that’s all you ladies want 😛


    Anonymous
    December 5, 2012 at 4:29 pm #18267

    I would agree with carlycatz. What is SUPER attractive about a guy is when he comes up to me, confident enough to just say “hey…I noticed you over here and wanted to come meet you. I’m …..what’s your name?”

    Silly pick up lines definitely make me laugh sometimes, but hopefully it’s followed by some authentic conversation. The silly pick up lines followed by more and more lines, gets old really fast.

    Here is what I coach my male clients to do. BE YOURSELF! Say what inspired you to want to talk to them. Compliments are nice! “You’re smile is what caught my attention – or – I looked across the room and saw you standing here and something about you made me want to come over here and say hello….”

    Here’s the secret though….women are pretty intuitive, so if you have any kind of sexual energy behind what you say, that can be an instant turnoff for the kind of girl not interested in that speedy pace….when you genuinely want to talk and know her, she will feel that too….

    There’s never a guarantee on how she or any girl will respond. Your job is to KNOW that you are THE BOMB! You are worth talking to, you are worth knowing and she would be honored to get to know you! When you feel that way about your own amazingness, it makes taking these risks much easier…because whether she responds to you or not, doesn’t matter. You do not base your value on her….so have the confidence that is unshakeable…the kind of confidence that is not based on whether people like you or choose you….the kind of confidence that says I am worth knowing whether someone else sees it or not.

    If you really truly believed that about yourself, then you would have gone and talked to her….you could talk to any girl that you want….just being you….whether your entry is a funny pick up line, a genuine compliment or just a hello.


    suede
    Participant
    December 27, 2012 at 3:50 pm #19541

    Iwas told by an old school cat women like complimants on physical beauty rather than physical atributes