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C. PriceParticipantFebruary 7, 2013 at 9:58 am #22078
This post was submitted by Richard. Can anybody help him out?
I met a girl much younger than myself a couple of months ago. From the beginning, when she would see me I could tell by her smile she was happy to see me. We talk and text and she doesn’t have a boyfriend”at least she says she doesn’t). A couple of weeks ago she asked me if I would go with her to get her oil changed and I told her yes.We went last week and while waiting we went into the mall. She was showing me an outfit she had that had the daisy duke shorts and the top tied right below the breasts.Very sexy! I showed her a pair of shorts and she laughed and told me they were long compared to her shorts.Then she said that a year ago when she had a boyfriend she weighed more. I asked why and she said because she was on the pill. She likes to tell me that she thinks she’s mature for her age.And she can’t date guys her age.At the same time she is always telling me how sweet and thoughtful and caring I am.She tells me I make her laugh.I don’t know if that’s a red flag telling me she likes being friends or not. I told her I was thinking about buying a jet ski or a boat this spring.She got excited so I asked her if sh’e go out on it if I bought one.Naturally she said yes.But,she seemed genuinely sincere about it.I thought about asking her “what if you start dating someone between now and then”,but I didn’t. If she does I don’t know if I would want to invite her new guy out with us,or feel obligated to ask. I am looking forward to spending time on the water and spending a day together and having fun alone with her.Sex(even though I want her pretty bad)isn’t going to be something I plan on bringing up on the boat.Unless our relationship grows stronger between now and then.Well, to think about it I am talking about 3 months.If we don’t have sex by then we probably aren’t going to have sex.Wouldn’t you agree?So far the only time we have been alone was when we got her oil changed.Yesterday she went to an indoor water park with her friend,her friend’s boyfriend, and a guy friend of hers for 2 days.Her friend had told me she had justed started to see this guy and when I teased her about it she kind of got upset at her friend and the way she said it made it clear that she didn’t have a new boyfriend, or maybe didn’t consider him to be a boyfriend. She told me later that the guy she was going to the water park with was a friend of hers. So, do I just take it slow and let nature take its course? I have dated younger women most of my life,but for reasons I won’t get into I haven’t dated anyone in a long time. I know younger women in their twenties want a confidant(but not arrogant) man.When do I make the move to try and go to the next step(actually going out with her),or if she prefers a discreet relationship find something to do and ask her if she’d like to do it? Am I setting myself up for a let down.Id she just being nice ecause she really likes me as a friend? I can’t really tell. I have been out of circulation for to long.
JimmyKParticipantFebruary 8, 2013 at 11:49 am #22196
She gave you a couple signs to pursue her, just take your time. Even if she “says” she’s mature, doesn’t always mean so.
Since you still don’t know if she’s interested in you beyond friends, try to go out with her when she’s out with more people. See how she behaves with a lot of people AND you. IF she flirts and gives you attention then see about doing something one on one later. Just get a for sure green light. No use in guessing what it might be until you see for yourself if her looks are more than skin deep.
BerryCrazyParticipantFebruary 17, 2013 at 1:36 am #22855
With all the things she’s done thus far, I’d say she’s just waiting for you to ask her out. Do it before someone else does. By this point most women would be wondering why you haven’t asked yet. We would have thought the Daisy Dukes were enough of an invitation.
slobeachboyParticipantMarch 10, 2013 at 7:58 pm #25391
It sounds to me like you’re really not asking how to date younger women. After all you freely admitted to having a lot of experience dating them. To me it just sounds like you are afraid to ask out a young girl who you see as way out of your league and so you are letting your insecurities over the age difference get the best of you. I think you are afraid that if you ask her out on a real date she not only might reject you but she might even be creeped out at the prospect do to the age difference. You are also desperately over analyzing the situation. And by telling us everything this girls has said and done around you, you are obviously hoping that we will pat you on the back and assure you that you are reading the signs correctly so that you can muster up the courage to actually do something about it. Well, here’s the problem with that. I’m probably better at reading people than anyone on the planet and even I occasionally get it wrong. I have met girls that acted around me exactly like your girl acts around you but who were only interested in being friends. And I’ve met a lot like her who were indeed interested in dating me. The bottom line is you can never know for sure and sometimes you just have to go for it and chance the rejection. As bad as the prospect of rejection can be its nothing compared to going through life never knowing what could have been.
Believe me I can relate to your problem though. When I was a teenager I dated mostly women in their early to late twenties and by the time I was in my 30’s and 40’s I was dating mostly in the 20 to 30 age range. Not that I have any age preference though. And I certainly do not target certain age groups. I look at everyone on a case by case basis and either I’m attracted to what I see and hear or I’m not. It’s as simple as that. Anyway the point is, once I got into my late 40’s I started becoming a little insecure about the age difference. I would still strike up conversations with attractive young girls and I could tell they were attracted to me in many cases, but I was afraid that once they found out my actually age that they would be freaked out by it and this sometimes makes me hesitate to ask them out. After all, as a society here in the USA we have this strange psychological hung-up when it comes to people dating out of their age range. Anyway the point is that in many of these cases I found that these women, even seemingly very confident women, were just as insecure about their own ages. They were afraid that they would have nothing to offer an older more sophisticated guy and so were often afraid to talk to me. Pretty much everyone has insecurities, even hot women. Or should I say especially hot women.
As for your questions on when to have sex in a relationship all I can say is you are over thinking that as well. Sex should just happen spontaneously. It’s not something you should have to plan out or talk about when it should happen, or when it should not happen. Many women have this strange misconception that a guy will not respect her if she has sex with him to soon but this is simply not true, at least not with most guys. The only guys that think like that are the former High School jock types. They try every trick in the book to pressure a girl into sleeping with them and then they brag to their friends about it and call her a slut. This is not how real men think though. In fact of all the women I’ve slept with I’d say about 25% of the time it happened on the first date, 70% on the second date, and five percent on the 3rd date. Well that’s of course if you don’t count my first two girlfriends when I was under 20 years old. Anyway those percentages are the same even if you only include dates that led to serious long-term relationships. So when the sex happened never altered my opinion of a woman. As a guy you can definitely wait too long though. For example if you started dating this girl romantically and 2 months down the road your are still not having sex she is going to think that something is wrong with you. By the way, after months of dating and having no sex with my first girlfriend she finally had to confront me and say “are we doing this or not”? She had always wanted to have sex but she didn’t tell me because she shouldn’t have to. Women like a man who takes charge (also one who knows what foreplay is – I was young and naive).
Anyway just asked this girl out on a real date. And not jet skiing or something else that a friend might ask you to and that is so hard to turn down that she would say yes to even if she did not want to date you. The worst that can happen is she says no. Remember girls like her don’t stay on the shelf for long and you don’t want to miss your chance. Of course if she does say no it might end the friendship as it might be too awkward to be around you after that but that’s just a chance you are going to have to take.
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