How to finally get started

DATING ADVICE FORUM

How to finally get started

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2017 at 1:45 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!


    thisisthelife
    Participant
    May 18, 2014 at 1:05 am #53100
    How to finally get started

    Hello everyone… I hope your weekend is going well.

    So I just got stood up on what was going to be my second online date ever, after about 8 months of trying. Hopefully she’ll contact me tomorrow and say that she got the day of the week wrong. This has happened about 3-4 times, and the one date that I did have was pretty depressing (she was cynical). But this brings to mind a bigger question.

    I just turned 22 and I still have never had an official girlfriend or a sexual relationship. This is my dream and I haven’t been able to get started. I basically fell in love with someone last year (and she liked me a lot too), but she couldn’t be my girlfriend because of our religious differences. Our relationship was very idealistic and she helped me to dream even more. I basically can’t go back at this point.

    I’m one of those academics (4.0 GPA in undergrad and my current grad school). I feel jealous of everyone who says “you can just get laid in college,”


    thisisthelife
    Participant
    May 18, 2014 at 1:06 am #53101

    because I was homeschooled in high school and went to two small specialty colleges afterward. The first one was 2/3 horny guys and 1/3 girls who didn’t date anybody (so sorry if this sounds misogynist, but everybody thought so, even the girls). And at the second one, there are so many amazing people, but everybody I know who is in a relationship is in one with someone outside the school.

    The only romantic options for us really are online dating and the bar/coffee shop scene. The latter scene doesn’t work for me, as I’m just above the legal drinking age (just turned 22), and nobody believes my age. I’m about 120-125 pounds and everyone thinks I’m a freshman ’cause I look so young. NYC isn’t really for the youngest “yuppies” (age 18-25) except at college. I tried speed dating once; everyone was about 5-10 years older.

    As for online dating, I’ve tried OKCupid, JDate, DateMySchool, Coffee Meets Bagel, and Tinder. I literally messaged just about every non-Orthodox Jewish girl in


    thisisthelife2
    Participant
    May 18, 2014 at 1:22 am #53109

    my age range in my city on JDate. I got that one date and nothing else (only about three other messages, period).

    Everybody talks about how awesome it is to just take a girl home for a night or go on a free-spirited date for the heck of it. That’s my dream. But nobody who wants that seems to be attracted to me. Sometimes I seem to believe that every girl who is attracted to me is a conservative Christian. That’s perfectly fine with me, but I don’t think I can do it again because I miss the one girl that I did go out with. I’ve definitely been on a few other dates (with more laid-back people), but every time I tried to get the young women to take the date seriously or go out again, they always said that they were busy.

    I wonder what the best community (online or offline) for “first timers” like me is. Maybe POF or Craigslist, but I don’t want to waste time on a shady site that can offer sex but not dating (there are so many conflicting reviews about those sites).


    thisisthelife2
    Participant
    May 18, 2014 at 1:23 am #53110

    And don’t say Tinder because I literally cannot get a date on there; I’ve only had about a dozen matches in 8 months.

    Hopefully I haven’t wasted your time too much. Thank you for reading!


    Anonymous
    May 18, 2014 at 5:30 am #53111

    placeamazing.com this website amazing! check it!


    johnj
    Participant
    May 18, 2014 at 6:27 am #53115

    If you are looking for an online site, I would say avoid the free ones!


    Anonymous
    May 19, 2014 at 8:20 am #53132

    free dating sites are as good as the paid one, though the paid ones have high authority in google ranking it doesn’t mean that free ones are just junk.


    thisisthelife
    Participant
    May 19, 2014 at 12:05 pm #53103

    And don’t say Tinder because I literally cannot get a date on there; I’ve only had about a dozen matches in 8 months.

    Hopefully I haven’t wasted your time too much. Thank you for reading!


    thisisthelife
    Participant
    May 19, 2014 at 12:05 pm #53102

    my age range in my city on JDate. I got that one date and nothing else (only about three other messages, period).

    Everybody talks about how awesome it is to just take a girl home for a night or go on a free-spirited date for the heck of it. That’s my dream. But nobody who wants that seems to be attracted to me. Sometimes I seem to believe that every girl who is attracted to me is a conservative Christian. That’s perfectly fine with me, but I don’t think I can do it again because I miss the one girl that I did go out with. I’ve definitely been on a few other dates (with more laid-back people), but every time I tried to get the young women to take the date seriously or go out again, they always said that they were busy.

    I wonder what the best community (online or offline) for “first timers” like me is. Maybe POF or Craigslist, but I don’t want to waste time on a shady site that can offer sex but not dating (there are so many conflicting reviews about those sites).


    thisisthelife
    Participant
    May 19, 2014 at 12:05 pm #53104

    my age range in my city on JDate. I got that one date and nothing else (only about three other messages, period).

    Everybody talks about how awesome it is to just take a girl home for a night or go on a free-spirited date for the heck of it. That’s my dream. But nobody who wants that seems to be attracted to me. Sometimes I seem to believe that every girl who is attracted to me is a conservative Christian. That’s perfectly fine with me, but I don’t think I can do it again because I miss the one girl that I did go out with. I’ve definitely been on a few other dates (with more laid-back people), but every time I tried to get the young women to take the date seriously or go out again, they always said that they were busy.


    thisisthelife
    Participant
    May 19, 2014 at 12:05 pm #53105

    I wonder what the best community (online or offline) for “first timers” like me is. Maybe POF or Craigslist, but I don’t want to waste time on a shady site that can offer sex but not dating (there are so many conflicting reviews about those sites). And don’t say Tinder because I literally cannot get a date on there; I’ve only had about a dozen matches in 8 months.

    Hopefully I haven’t wasted your time too much. Thank you for reading!


    thisisthelife
    Participant
    May 19, 2014 at 12:05 pm #53118

    I’m not looking for an online site in particular haha, I just want an actual date. I just joined How About We which is expensive but looks amazing and offers a guarantee (something other sites don’t have). But there aren’t a lot of very young members on there.


    thisisthelife
    Participant
    May 19, 2014 at 12:06 pm #53119

    Haha I’m not looking for an online site in particular, just a date. I just joined How About We which looks amazing and offers a guarantee. But there aren’t a lot of very young members on there.


    Anonymous
    May 26, 2014 at 1:21 pm #53736
    Reply To: How to finally get started

    Idk what to say except please don’t turn like that kid did in Cali. If you have to pay, then pay. Yes, I understand how can you stop being single if these websites don’t work? At least you are making an effort. The best place that’s worked for me is how about we. Gone on a few dates with a couple of guys but now I’m starting to get messages from 40 year-old men and ppl that have SN with the number 69 …gross. If I wanted to get laid, I’d have no problem with that. I am trying to find a person to have a long-term relationship with. Where are those men?