How to get out of "FuBu" or "Friends with Benefits"

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How to get out of "FuBu" or "Friends with Benefits"

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Pamelicious
    Participant
    August 28, 2015 at 2:30 am #84894
    How to get out of "FuBu" or "Friends with Benefits"

    Hello everyone! So, I really like this guy and I think I’m falling for him. He said though that he is not yet ready for commitment that’s why he wants this type of set up. I also had to mention that aside from making love, we also go on a date, watch a movie, have dinner together and we also planned to go to an amusement park for his birthday.


    Pamelicious
    Participant
    August 29, 2015 at 5:19 am #84911

    I really need to know what I can do. Please shed some light to me 🙂

    Confounded478
    Confounded478
    Participant
    September 28, 2015 at 4:49 pm #86070

    Just stop seeing him, obviously, he’s just using you, but you already know that.


    cashley
    Participant
    September 30, 2015 at 8:08 am #86226

    I agree with what Noah Parker said, I myself have been dealing with the same thing and Noah makes a lot of sense. “Convenience” is the key word.. change your attitude and become more you and see if he becomes more interested in the real you..


    mesmerized78
    Participant
    November 24, 2015 at 11:48 pm #88974

    I’m in the same situation except I have completely fallen for him. The sex is the best I’ve ever had, his touch sends me to paradise but he wants no attachment. Why am I not good enough for him? Is it cause I’m not pretty? I hear ya girl. I’m so lost and alone.


    Anonymous
    November 29, 2015 at 9:03 am #89097

    Stop sleeping with him and see if he still contacts you to hang out. If you don’t hear from him then move on.


    cheezesandwich
    Participant
    November 30, 2015 at 1:50 pm #89127

    Cut contact with him


    Christy_35
    Participant
    December 3, 2015 at 9:32 am #89331

    I agree with cutting contact. It might be hard because you have feelings for him, but honestly, if he cares or misses you, he’ll come back. And when/if he does and you haven’t moved on, then make it clear that you want something different than before. Good luck!


    maxweel
    Participant
    December 4, 2015 at 12:21 am #89424

    It feels like he is abusing your feelings for him and that if you don’t cut contact with him it will just go further don’t let him pull you into a situation you’ll regret.


    melika
    Participant
    December 6, 2015 at 2:54 am #89540
    Reply To: How to get out of "FuBu" or "Friends with Benefits"

    Tell him it’s not working for you anymore and walk away.


    n00631
    Participant
    December 7, 2015 at 1:07 am #89591
    Reply To: How to get out of "FuBu" or "Friends with Benefits"

    There’s no way way too go about this one, but it’s in your best interest to let him go and make room for subversive who will do this stuff and feel comfortable recognizing it as a relationship.

    • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  n00631.
    Harry Wilmington
    Harry Wilmington
    Participant
    December 29, 2015 at 10:30 am #90643
    Reply To: How to get out of "FuBu" or "Friends with Benefits"

    For starters, you need to stop putting the blame on the guy. All these comments about “he’s just using you, etc.” are bogus – he TOLD you what he wanted (an FWB situation) and you agreed to it. At that point, YOU made the decision to continue this set up as-is, so it can’t be considered as him using you.

    Secondly, if you’ve expressed your desire for a relationship with this guy and he’s said he doesn’t want one, understand it simply means he doesn’t want one with YOU. Once the right girl comes along this excuse will go out the window, and he doesn’t see you and him as a long-term thing. Nothing wrong with that, but it does mean YOU have to decide if you want to keep seeing him knowing he’s going to eventually leave you, or leave now and do a better job next time of finding someone that sees you as relationship potential. Hope this helps!