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NorwegianboyEEParticipantNovember 22, 2017 at 4:27 am #157157
I am 20 years old and i have never had a girlfriend, however i am really trying.
I seem to have great skills in approaching girls and being social, and then maybe i’ll even manage to ask them out on a date. But the problem is that these moments of social interaction REALLY tire me out. When i talk to people for about 30 minutes i can really keep the mood flowing and it seems to be working great, but then it just get worse and worse as i get more tired, until i wish i could just go home and stare at the wall rather than keep trying to come up with topics.
It’s even worse how men are expected to do all the talking these days, having to be a little bit social is ok for me. But when the girls i date seem to always be silent and constantly nodding instead of trying to mutually keep the conversation going it really tires me out. Are guys really expected to constantly be the alpha male that does the talking nowadays? The girl’s interest always seems to ebb off as i get more silent and moody-
NorwegianboyEEParticipantNovember 22, 2017 at 4:27 am #157158
-from the constant barrage of social mastery i have to exert myself to muster. I’m really not an outgoing guy, so i’d heavily prefer if i could do away with the initial dating as a fast as possible and just chill with my potential girlfriend in a more calming environment than the social spaces you’d usually find women in.
I know this might sound weird for some, but it’s simply my nature. My childhood was very traumatic and i was a loner for most of my teenager years, thus i have always been the most comfortable in my own company. The problem is i’m feeling aching from my loneliness at the same times as it being my most comfortable setting. This cognitive dissonance has really been ripping me apart lately.
okayuParticipantNovember 23, 2017 at 7:20 am #157278
If you do all of this, you will get a girlfriend and change forever.
#1. Workout(will build confidence+train ur mind into doing things u dont like)
#2. Focus a bit more on your looks, the style you wear, how you smell, how clean u are daily(like nails and ur balls), hairstyle
#3. Ask yourself who are you, what do you respresent? What do you study, what do you like etc and if you think a girl wont like it,
then do something about it and change yourself. Read, talk to people on random chat rooms to build confidence.
#4. Fake confidence in your daily routine, google it.
#5. Face it that people are the same everywhere. You are stuck in your own limitations saying u cant do this or u cant do that. You know very well that if you change a few things you will understand and open a whole new world(you got no idea how it’s like to be with a girl this intimate) and it scares you because you are afraid of the unknown.
#6 Accept who you are and go with it. Yolo.
we1234ParticipantNovember 23, 2017 at 12:03 pm #157284
Be you, let it go and don’t put yourself in an uncomfortable environment where you can’t be yourself. It won’t work that way and the girls you are meeting are seeing that you are uncomfortable (I’m guessing), because I think I would.
I’m not sure what your interests are but stick to them, and most of all don’t sweat it. It will happen when you least expect it.
LoneWolfParticipantNovember 24, 2017 at 1:21 am #157312
I’m very introverted as well, but I always at least try to be outgoing. But I have this same problem where girls just don’t continue the conversation and I do all the talking, albeit with text since I can’t find any singles irl. I can’t`tell if they’re intimidated or just naturally that way, but it sucks. People always tell you to come out of your shell, but when you do it’s like everyone else goes into theirs.
trevorfrancisParticipantNovember 24, 2017 at 8:51 pm #157329
From experience, being an introvert or “I’m too shy” never gets you anywhere. Men have to be bold and able to lead. If you’re putting more efforts into the conversation, then it’s time to pack your bags and go home.
missmarisParticipantNovember 25, 2017 at 1:31 am #157334
You need to be yourself and not try so hard. She needs to come meet you half way. In social situations it shouldn’t be up to you to hold the conversation up for 30 minutes or be the main point. Things should flow. Naturally. You need to do what is comfortable for you. A girl should always reciprocate not nod off after a while. The right girl will.
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