I am desperate need of some serious serious help.

DATING ADVICE FORUM

I am desperate need of some serious serious help.

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    October 10, 2017 at 9:36 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!

    adrwprtr88
    adrwprtr88
    Participant
    November 10, 2014 at 8:36 pm #67412
    I am desperate need of some serious serious help.

    Hi. I’m a 25 year old single male. I’ve had a lot of trouble getting a girlfriend/dating etc. I’m a freelance video editor so my schedule is always always all over the place and leaves me having no time to meet people. Mostly I try and meet people online though harmony, occupied, etc. I am on pretty much all of them. I email/message so many girls. I think of something nice/clever to write .. nothing crazy and send it. 85% of the time .. I get no response! When I do get a response they never ask me any questions back. They just answer whatever question back or don’t respond to the comment. I do not know what to do! I want a girlfriend so bad! It’s killing me. What do I do!


    SeanP
    Participant
    November 10, 2014 at 11:51 pm #67415

    Hey man, I totally understand where ur coming from. This was me a few years ago minus all the online stuff. My solution was to let life happen. No matter how hard you try if it’s not your turn then it’s not your turn. The special person will show up one day in your life and you won’t even realize it. This was the case for me and we ended up dating for over a year when it did happen. If your the impatient type, I’ll suggest something thay my friend did who was also in In a similar situation: reach out to a few of your good friends and ask them if they know anyone wh you’d be compatible with and thay may also want to be in Ina relationship and try to set ya guys up. I’ve seen it work as my friend is still with her and it’s been 2+ years. Aside from thay, you could try joining a community club or some other social group but you have to make some free.time obviously everything comes with a cost. Good luck man. Don’t feel down, your time will truly come..one day.

    certifiedgirlgeek
    certifiedgirlgeek
    Participant
    November 11, 2014 at 6:05 pm #67485

    He’s right you know, just focus on you and it will happen. My buddies in my age group that actively seek women in your age group, talk about how difficult it is to get these girls to respond, have decent communication and usually flake out on the actual date. It’s not you, online dating is tough and can be a real soul crusher. As a woman who managed to find a great guy online, it took me a year and a half to weed through the messages, getting men to commit to an actual phone conversation and lots of dates and short term boyfriends before I found the right fit for me. Definitely look into joining groups that you are interested in and even taking some cooking classes. When I was single my girls and I would do those and met some nice guys while learning some valuable knife skills. Hang in there!


    carlb
    Participant
    November 11, 2014 at 6:44 pm #67495

    They are right bro focus on you and get yourself right you will be blessed with the one


    kweekwas
    Participant
    November 12, 2014 at 8:29 pm #67534

    One question….what kinds of women are you messaging? Are you basing this on the “hottest” females you can possibly find, many of whom are probably horrendously conceited and drowning in messages? Or are you looking at cute, nice, normal girls who would be happy to hear from a cool guy like you? If you aren’t looking outside the realm of “super hotdom”, you’re missing out. Just a thought.

    MrSSamsung
    MrSSamsung
    Participant
    November 13, 2014 at 6:16 pm #67559

    here’s some good advice that works for me (online atleast!):

    write a funny profile that indirectly shows your strengths. Don’t write “I’m really social and like going out with friends”. Have pictures of you with some friends.. etc. Keep it sharp snappy and to the point. Have good pics… this bit of advice you can get from a female… ask one. Besides good pics… make sure they show things about you that would sell you: trip abroad shows you’re worldly, with friends shows you’re social, doing sports shows you’re active.. you get the idea?

    Make sure at least one is full body pic.

    First message should be short… the less you say, the less chance she’ll take what you’ve written in her mind and find flaws in it. Have a paste and copy element, then add at the end the personalized bit that will make a connection and show you read her profile. Try to make a connection, but not always possible.. good luck!


    cupcakecutie7
    Participant
    November 15, 2014 at 9:06 am #67608

    It’s a hard situation to be in for sure. But as a previous poster asked, what type of girls are you messaging? Hate to say it but, men always chase the hot girls and ignore us normal girls. A simple Hi, and a brief message of how you would like to connect for conversation is perfect. Tell her you hope she is having a great day and you look forward to hearing g from her.


    cupcakecutie7
    Participant
    November 15, 2014 at 9:13 am #67609

    My phone was acting silly, had to make this two post.

    Do not compliment her looks. I have a horrible self esteem and when a guy does that, it really puts me off. I automatically think he’s trying to sleep with me. Keep it cool and casual. When she answers you back, don’t jump on it, step vack, take a deep breath and don’t reply for a couple hours. It drives us crazy!!! But it works. Try not to read into anything she says or ask a million questions. That will overwhelm her. No sex talk! If she starts it to soon, stop it. Either she’s just out for a booth call or has a low self esteem and thinks that is the only way a guy will find intrest in her. This seems like a long ramble sorry. I hope this helps a bit.


    single2787
    Participant
    November 15, 2014 at 10:04 pm #67621

    Focus on you, and if all else have you tried the help of a private matchmaker like in person? Not a fan of online and i know where you are coming from.


    tsell52
    Participant
    November 16, 2014 at 1:57 pm #67637
    Reply To: I am desperate need of some serious serious help.

    In the same boat dude, subtracting the online thing. It’s difficult but Itll come someday.

    December 22, 2014 at 7:07 pm #69550
    Reply To: I am desperate need of some serious serious help.

    are you implying you have never had a girlfriend before OP? I can relate, if it was okay to be needy and desperate for a girlfriend, okay not as in I will settle for any girl, but I mean one i’m attracted to, then I probably would not be bitter and resentful over having to be the initiator


    olaa
    Participant
    December 23, 2014 at 7:42 am #69563
    Reply To: I am desperate need of some serious serious help.

    Be a man bro. Dont rely much on dating websites. Go out in the world. Meet ups, gym, bars and you will find someone in person instead of digital ones.

    December 23, 2014 at 7:44 pm #69574
    Reply To: I am desperate need of some serious serious help.

    seriously I feel like punching a random mans lights out for telling me to grow a pair, grow some balls

    George Reagan
    George Reagan
    Participant
    December 23, 2014 at 9:10 pm #69576
    Reply To: I am desperate need of some serious serious help.

    Real men use online dating too, and the women are real also, not digital. Just keep working at it, and you will get more comfortable with the interactions. One of the few original ideas I’ve come up with is “if more men became their own harshest critic there would be fewer who would be their own worst enemy” Real, positive change is possible and will help you improve your luck with online dating.


    eric001
    Participant
    December 24, 2014 at 3:40 pm #69592
    Reply To: I am desperate need of some serious serious help.

    yeah i kinda don’t even trust online dating services anymore. i think only fraction of them are real people.

1 2