I am not able to understand what is wrong with me and wish to know my mistakes?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

I am not able to understand what is wrong with me and wish to know my mistakes?

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  • Mj1987
    Participant
    May 5, 2017 at 5:19 am #135473
    I am not able to understand what is wrong with me and wish to know my mistakes?

    I am a 29-year-old Indian guy living in India, I am confident, humorous, funny, have a great smile, loyal, faithful, honest.
    I am not able to understand that what is the problem with me?
    Yes, I do suffer from male pattern baldness and I have shaved head but I am confident.
    I am able to make an initial impression very well, I have my work priorities, I have goals, I live a healthy lifestyle, I am optimistic and philosophical in nature. I respect woman and never abused anyone.
    But still, no woman would fall in love me?
    I always ask open-ended questions. The girls only respond when I text them otherwise they will never ever start a conversation. I mean all of them any country. I never sound needy, I don’t act like a nerd, never text them like a mad person on daily basis, but yes, I can’t talk to a woman if she is not co-operative. I am not a stand-up comedian that I will keep on saying and she respond with a smiley and will say “I am a simple girl.”


    Mj1987
    Participant
    May 5, 2017 at 5:22 am #135474

    Cont..
    If I don’t get a text back, I usually wait for few days and only then text them back.
    Is it a crime to be nice? Do I need to become a sex hungry guy and seek only what other people look for, which is completely disgusting?
    I can talk about sex but for that first, there should be some attraction or feelings, something!
    I have tried dating in India and foreign countries as well. Everywhere it is the same.
    The worst experience is with an Indian girl, they want everything, never ever meet a single realist woman. The one I meet already had a boyfriend or husband. And the woman in India, just don’t ask. Even the average girl is so money oriented that she would never ever think beyond it. I only had one girlfriend in the past and it took me 3 years to get her and in the end, she runs away from relationship saying that she is cultured and now will marry as per his father’s wish.
    How do people make a girlfriend in just a month?
    If it is so fast then why I am not able to see it?
    Cont…


    Mj1987
    Participant
    May 5, 2017 at 8:55 am #135475

    Cont…
    And about dating foreign countries.
    I found European woman more friendly and easy to talk, but they are afraid of India. At least they didn’t show attitude and only a few were money oriented. A woman said that I can never imagine myself in a country like India but you are a nice guy and don’t wish to hurt your feeling hence we can be friends.
    Now about my office. The one in my office are either occupied or think themselves as a beauty queen. And trust me they are nothing more than average. And I seriously hate this attitude. It seems they never ever see themselves in the mirror. If someone is good, I am very glad to compliment but if they are not then, I never give them fake compliment.
    I recently met a girl on the dating website, initially, everything was fine. She asked me for the skype id and we started to talk over skype. As she wanted to talk I called her on Skype and tried to have a good conversation but she was very different, serious, didn’t laugh at all.
    Cont…


    Mj1987
    Participant
    May 5, 2017 at 8:55 am #135478

    So can please someone tell me what is the problem that I am ignoring about myself? What is the quality that I am lacking that woman are not interested in a guy like me?


    Mj1987
    Participant
    May 5, 2017 at 8:55 am #135476

    Cont…
    and didn’t ask a single question. I was not able to keep the conversation up because of such behavior hence told her that we will talk tomorrow.
    Now next day I send her a good morning text and no response at all. I wait for a few day and nothing. Is this my fault? In this whole god damn world is there no one?
    How those creepy guys who just search for sex get girls? How do those who never ever talk with a girl politely get a girl? How does those guy who leave the girl giving her fake promises for marriage get a girl? How do those guy which don’t even look handsome, no dressing sense, no ethics, no shame and cheap have a girlfriend?

    Please, can someone tell me what is the problem with me in this whole world?
    Is it a crime to be polite, loyal, being ethical, caring in the eyes of girls?

    Please please please tell me what I am doing wrong?

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    May 5, 2017 at 12:31 pm #135517

    basically what’s going on is.. females work on the “periphery” – they’re more into symbolism, vibe, body language, tone.
    guys are wired to be more direct, literal, etc.

    so.. its’ not what you say and what you do that they’re reading – it’s how you say it and how you’re doing it. and from what i’ve learned (because this is what i was and have had to change) – you are probably giving the vibe of being a bit desperate and in a hurry to find somebody, or in a hurry to get into a relationships..

    most likely it is coming from the fact that your identity is a bit tied to whehter you have a gf or not (big #1 tip off to females that they can perceive about us guys).

    so.. stop wondering. stop questioning. stop doing the “if A, then B” analysis and cause/reaction monitoring. JUST HAVE FUN. Be you. Instead of communicating and doing to “try and win them over” or “look like a good catch” – do and communicate to enjoy yourself regardless what comes back or not.

    that should change your aura

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    May 5, 2017 at 12:33 pm #135520

    i have done this when i text people or message peopel on OLD sites (dating sites) and i have gotten a lot more responses for instance.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    May 5, 2017 at 12:38 pm #135523

    ohh lastly.. remember that when it comes to dating/love – it is not a LOGICAL exercise. It is an emotional exercise. Especially when it comes to females. So to try and analyze it LOGICALLY as to “how to win a woman over” by default means your’re doing it the wrong way.

    its emotional.
    so don’t approach it llogically.

    “how do i approach it emotionally?”
    you can’t.. they’re emotions. lol. i mean yes there are “theories” and “methods” and “strategies” out there.. but in the end that just gets you in the door and initial interest and then its still back to the same ol’ stuff.

    iamjesus
    iamjesus
    Participant
    May 6, 2017 at 11:03 am #135615

    First you need to relax. You have been smart. You have asked for advice. Most people never do, they think they know it all and hence fail miserably.

    Next, decide what you want. Do you want a girlfriend? A one-night stand? A friend with benefits? A wife?

    Finally, get this book : Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo.