I can't tell if it's over…

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I can't tell if it's over…

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    ZaraLoveNever
    Participant
    January 6, 2016 at 11:34 pm #91197
    I can't tell if it's over…

    So I’ve found myself in a kinda of sticky situation. There is this guy at work that I’ve been watching for a couple of weeks. I’d seen him around on several different occasions but never said anything to him, I just kept thinking to myself that he’s cute. One day out of the blue we get to talking and he asks me out on a date. I didn’t expect this because I had no idea that he had been checking me out to. Anyway we have dinner and hang out at his place afterwards, nothing serious happened; we establish that I’ve never been a relationship or kissed anyone before. He asked to kiss me and I declined telling him that i don’t know him like that. The next day we hang out at his place again, nothing happens, he tries to kiss me again, I say no. The next day we txt getting to know each other more, he tells me that he’s willing to be patient with me, asking me if I’m opposed to being in a relationship with someone, I say I’m not…


    ZaraLoveNever
    Participant
    January 6, 2016 at 11:37 pm #91198

    …He tells me he likes me and the conversation gets more in depth, he asks me if I’m celibate and I honestly tell him I am. He tells me that he doesn’t think that changes how he feels about anything. The next day at work we chat for about 2 mins and txt briefly at night. The next day is the last day before break and there is no communication. Over the break there’s radio silence,no body texts and all he did was like my pics on facebook. We’ve been back at work since Monday and for the past two days its been a very dry hi, how are you sort of greeting in passing. At this point I can tell it’s over because I can’t phantom why he’d cut communication. It just sucks because I really want to know what happened or why we are in the position we are in now. I don’t want to say anything to him at work because I don’t want to seem like I’m bring our personal issues there; bad enough that I already shat where I eat. It even almost kind of just feels like he’s avoiding me.


    ZaraLoveNever
    Participant
    January 7, 2016 at 8:50 am #91199

    To me it’s like if me being celibate is an issue for you why can’t you be honest and say it. It just seems so disrespectfully to me to not say anything to me and pretend like nothing ever happened between us even if it was extremely short-lived. I just don’t know what I should do this point and the situation is weight heavy on me. I just need some sort of closure, I hate going through life not knowing why people did what they did.It’s happened one to many times to me and I’m seriously beginning to shut down. I know it’s seems crazy that I’m this bothered but I am.


    Bhavya
    Participant
    January 22, 2016 at 12:07 pm #91977

    I miss my guy. We had ‘love’ and I still have it for him…he says he doesn’t. We were perfect.


    beachdreamer1
    Participant
    January 23, 2016 at 2:43 am #91992

    Just be professional at work. It’s your job first of all. Leave him be since you spent so much time together he could be processing all the information or the fact you’re waiting to be physical. What ever his reason just give it time. Sure he’s cute to you. Then again if he’s not the one another cute guy is around the corner.
    You only began getting to know him. Maybe he wants his space. He’ll talk to you again. Just don’t make time for him right away if he approaches you. Have a life you enjoy and just don’t spend your days worrying about him.

    January 31, 2016 at 9:29 pm #92502

    I’m a little confused, just for some context here. How old are you and this guy roughly? You mentioned that you work, so I assume you’re 22+ probably; though you also mention a break, so I’m wondering if you’re in high school or college?

    Either way, it sounds like the ball is really in your court here. What do you want? I’m unsure if you want a relationship and are taking it slow, or if you are trying to ‘let him down easy’ (which you’re not really doing by passively turning him down). It’s pretty obvious that he’s interested in you, and likely wants to get to know you and he probably wants some kind of relationship. You need to tell him what you want.

    Once you figure out what you want, the discussion can happen pretty quickly at work or over the phone, text, or outside of work. It doesn’t have to be awkward. It’s only awkward when you reject his advances but aren’t clear with why you’re hanging out with him.