I don't know what to do anymore

DATING ADVICE FORUM

I don't know what to do anymore

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  • CollegeGirlAnnie96
    Participant
    May 15, 2017 at 6:10 pm #136501
    I don't know what to do anymore

    So this year I had my first serious relationship (I’m a junior in college). We dated for 7 months and then he randomly ended it with me a week ago saying he “wanted to work on himself.” I suggested going on a break instead and giving him some time to think, and he agreed. Then, we messaged today and he told me he had doubts because he doesn’t think he can manage a relationship while being more focused on his other goals. I asked him if he wanted to be single so he could talk to other girls and he said that wasn’t the case. So I told him we could just be friends for now until he was ready…. Now I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to be just friends but I also don’t want to lose him.

    lovie4you
    lovie4you
    Participant
    May 17, 2017 at 7:29 pm #136826

    Wow, that is a sad story, but the good news is there are a lot of guys in college you do have your pick. I know you don;t want to lose him but you both are young. If that was your first serious relationship I got a hunch you will have a lot of relations before the right man comes along. You might even find a better man. I would say right now give him space and I know from instinct he will be dating other women and then he finds you were the best of them all. The question is are you willing to accept him back.


    Ocean77
    Participant
    May 17, 2017 at 9:24 pm #136828

    I would like to believe in the better nature of people and trust in what they are saying. I bet you this guy doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you currently because he doesn’t believe he can give you the attention you deserve. Personally, I believe that when we use the phrase like “wanting to work on ourselves” it is just a vague answer that we hope is acceptable because we don’t know a better way to explain what seems to be the problem. If he is willing I’d try to sit down and talk with him and find out exactly what seems to be troubling him and how he feels a relationship might affect that.


    Amanda
    Participant
    May 18, 2017 at 8:22 pm #136902

    I’m sorry you’re going through that. It might not be the easy choice, but maybe it’s best to try to move on because for whatever reason he’s just not interested in a relationship and you deserve someone to be fully committed to you.


    clementine000
    Participant
    May 19, 2017 at 11:41 am #136936

    I think you should just move on. I know it’s hard to hear, but he’s trying to distance himself.

    Mel4everable
    Mel4everable
    Participant
    May 19, 2017 at 12:35 pm #136947

    How despicable! That is no story that any girl wants to hear. I suggest that you not feel badly about being a distraction to him but take this time as well to get to know yourself better. I understand him wanting to pursue his goals but he should also be disciplined enough to be able to mange his personal pursuits and you as well. Considering that he is distancing himself from you I’d distance myself from him as well. You deserve better than this sweetheart. I also don’t think that I am fond with you guys being friends at this stage; maybe later after your feelings have dwindled but not now. It’ll be hard but move on and find somebody else who is willing and proud to have you.