I feel helpless in this relationship.

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I feel helpless in this relationship.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    annihilationtime805
    annihilationtime805
    Participant
    May 4, 2015 at 10:44 am #78363
    I feel helpless in this relationship.

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years on and off & I’m starting to feel like I’m changing. He is 24 & I’m 21… He has a job but no car and gives his mother a lot of his paycheck bcuz they are pretty broke I guess…whenever I go to his apartment we just smoke weed & he will play video games &I will watch tv… I’m so bored & unhappy. My boyfriend is in a band and puts so much of his time into it (he cares more about his band then going to college or atleast getting a far??) We recently got pregnant & I obviously couldn’t keep it…at 5 weeks I terminated & he couldn’t even be there for me for that! I have a friend…he sails and goes to shows and we always have a good time hanging out…i ACTUALLY feel happy doing my own thing. My boyfriend says I’m too busy hating life to enjoy the small things but honestly I’m sick of working around my schedule to go to him with MY car. I’m sick of going on “dates” whenever he has money but of course let me pick him up….im tired of it all’

    annihilationtime805
    annihilationtime805
    Participant
    May 4, 2015 at 10:47 am #78365

    Continued…. Car***** not far…. I feel like I’m in a Highschool relationship and my boyfriend just wants his garage band to go somewhere. I used to think maybe I’m just shallow but after he told me that college won’t do shit for me I fifured we just have completely different views


    JeffS
    Participant
    May 4, 2015 at 11:32 am #78372

    Your making it sound like it IS a high school relationship. It sounds like you are more mature than him, the only person who can make him stop being a boy and become a man is himself. Also, the “college won’t do shit for you” is terrible advice. I think you should put thought into moving on. I wish you the best of luck.

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  JeffS.

    infamissg
    Participant
    May 6, 2015 at 9:25 pm #78577

    Omgosh. I feel you on this one. I dated my ex boyfriend for 3.5 years. We met in highschool, and at first I wasn’t attracted to him at all, but because he was very persistent I gave him a chance. The first year, yeah, I fell for him, but then after the second year, it got so boring. He didn’t drive, and that’s the #1 reason why our relationship started to fall apart. I was the one driving us everywhere, and I would pay for gas.. this and that. We would always either be at home, having sex or watching endless amount of movies. Our boring ass relationship dragged on, and it made me become a bad person. We would have arguments for no reason because I admit, we were bored. Don’t be like me, and waste your time. It took alot of strength to break up with him, and when I did .. my bestfriend introduced me to a friend, and he’s everything I want. I’m so glad I met him, and if I stayed with my ex I wouldn’t have met such a great guy. Anyways I hope this helps, goodluck on your relationship.


    jverde
    Participant
    May 7, 2015 at 10:37 am #78583

    I’m not relationship expert, but I feel like he is going in one direction and you’re going in another. It sounds like you’ve grown while he is content on not growing. It also sounds like you’re way more invested in this “relationship” than he is. My suggestion is this broach the subject with him and if he seeks to stay exactly the same, doing the same exact thing. Move the heck on! You have no reason to hold on anymore, and I don’t mean to be rude but simply me being honest. I think you’ve given him enough years of your life, and if his goals don’t align with yours, it’s time to say goodbye! Good luck 🙂


    BenCalintz
    Participant
    May 9, 2015 at 4:08 am #78668

    I think you should move on. It won’t be easy, but is the right thing to do now.


    yellowflower1987
    Participant
    May 9, 2015 at 7:48 pm #78681

    Try ending the relationship to take some time to yourself. You’re still so young and sounds like getting an abortion is a big deal….I would say to take a break and enjoy being single before jumping into another relationship whether its with him or a new person.


    pajkoska
    Participant
    May 13, 2015 at 12:54 pm #78838

    he sounds very immature. you should enjoy being single for a while. someone more serious and interesting will come along.