I flat out need help.

DATING ADVICE FORUM

I flat out need help.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Peter601
    Participant
    October 22, 2015 at 9:18 am #87202
    I flat out need help.

    I am a 18 year old guy in college now and I have never been in a relationship. Through out high school and well now even in college I can’t get a girl. For that matter I can’t even make friends. I suffer from depression, anxiety, social anxiety, and I’m just a reserved person by nature. I have tried talking and trying to get to know the girl, but it never goes past one conversation then all i end up doing after that is trying to start a conversation. I have tried online (no results or benefits). I mean what could i be doing wrong? Everyone says college is the best time of your life; well not for me. I have found nothing on relationship advice for someone in my situation. And I desperately need help.


    John123
    Participant
    October 22, 2015 at 11:12 am #87207

    you have just got to be you and be yourself.

    as you can see from a post bellow I have just split up and I tell you that the feeling I have now is awful but relationships are definitely worth it.

    it is up to the girl to like you for who you are and if they don’t then they are not worth it mate. Don’t try and force anything, don’t over think it just do your own thing and if you start talking to a girl talk to her how you would to anyone else (as yourself) if she likes you she likes you.


    mrright
    Participant
    October 22, 2015 at 8:38 pm #87234

    Agreed. Im very out going, decent looking, popular, and successful. I have some of the same confidence issues you stated however. It not easy but you have to decided what you want in life and work toward it. Friends and relationships don’t come at no price. If your not willing to work on yourself, you wont be there to help and care for your friends or partner.

    flanneryfan
    flanneryfan
    Participant
    October 23, 2015 at 8:31 pm #87298

    I want to suggest joining some organizations on campus and getting out to meet girls interested in what you’re interested in (thus have more to talk about), but that can be hard with depression and anxiety.
    Also, you’re not doing anything “wrong” if your trying to talk to girls and your courageous for putting yourself out there. Plus, the girls your talking to might have their own struggles and not know how to continue talking to you!
    Just keep putting yourself out there. While your waiting to “click” with someone, make sure your taking care of yourself and coping with things in a healthy manner–college is super stressful even without added depression/anxiety.
    And I hate to be a parent here, but avoid drinking to make things easier–it’s not worth it and it won’t help develop real relationship skills–just drunk skills.

    cupquake
    cupquake
    Participant
    October 25, 2015 at 2:51 am #87339

    You’d be surprised how many people can relate to you. Try not to focus on it too much and be yourself.


    Peyton142
    Participant
    October 25, 2015 at 10:35 am #87343

    Same problem.


    Justin
    Participant
    October 26, 2015 at 8:56 am #87273

    Hey, it’s gonna be ok. First of all. Look at everyday as a new opportunity. Someone old and wise once told me, don’t tell a negative story in your head. So what ? you are single. So are a billion other people Do you know how many guys are in bad relationships? that would love to be in your shoes, or stuck in a loveless marriage. You are the lucky one. You have nothing but new experiences to look forward to. If I were you I would join a club on campus, or try meet up’s, focus on today !! It will happen when your least expecting it….she will walk into your life. Don’t give up.


    Tank123
    Participant
    October 26, 2015 at 7:34 pm #87417

    Be yourself because you’ll find someone who loves you for who you are, flaws and all. they won’t really even see your flaws as flaws, but as things that they love about you.

    ToughLove
    ToughLove
    Participant
    October 26, 2015 at 9:21 pm #87423

    Be yourself? Lmao. It’s obvious being yourself is what has got you into this mess. You have to be a douche. Women respond to douchey behavior. I would know, I’m a douchebag. I’m proud of it. Being reserved is going to get you nowhere but the friend zone. You have to be confident, and selfish. Do your own thing and the chicks will start noticing you. That’s how they operate. Forget that be yourself nonsense.