i found the perfect man

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i found the perfect man

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    geminidmn
    Participant
    June 13, 2016 at 3:25 pm #103319
    i found the perfect man

    i met a man online 7 mos ago. we texted for 7 mos. we met 2 weeks ago for first time. hes been hurt cheated on and has trust issues and custody of his kids. actually he JUST got this property and custody thing settled last week. he is still getting his freedom from having a 20 year marriage with a cheater and i KNOW he is not ready for another relationship, hes been divorced 2 years but just got the settlement. i think hes the perfect man, but he isnt interested in long term relationship and i understand. we have plans to get together for a date and a ball game, he lives a bit away in same state so with his kids and responsibilities and job its hard. we text every night, it ranges from regular conversation to sexual. i am divorced and also been cheated on and we shared that plus other personal details to each other. can this work and if so how do i just see him and hope he wants a long tern relationship which is what i am doing right now, not pushing just being together when we can


    lilrav
    Participant
    June 14, 2016 at 10:21 pm #103371

    you need to believe what he is saying man are honest we just need to listen he is saying that hes not ready for a relationship so you need to believe him. But also in saying that you dont want to be used and left hurt because he could be looking for just some companionship which will leave you broken hearted in the end. Maybe you need to take a step back and see it for what it is I dont mean to sound like a downer but maybe you need to give him some space as you said hes just got his kids he is working all that out maybe you should tell him how you feel and then say look i feel we have something going here i know your not ready but I would just like to know if something could ever happen between us in the future Im willing to wait but if he believes nothing is going to happen long term you need to walk away and find a man who is already settled within himself and can return the love you give out. If you want a no string attached just sexual that is what you will end up with. good luck


    lilyvalley
    Participant
    June 15, 2016 at 1:19 pm #103431

    well said @lilrav


    geminidmn
    Participant
    June 15, 2016 at 1:43 pm #103432

    i understand what he is saying fairly well, however, at the same time, i have no delusions of anything, i am just following his lead right now and I am not holding back from being with anyone else, i just havent met anyone else in the meantime. however, our conversations are very personal and include what he is going through and what I went through so that he sees that i can listen and just let him talk about what is going on with him. that said, he is not a player nor is he a run around, he has no time and we already discussed this. actually, i told him that when i have a physical or any other relationship that i keep it to one person at a time, he replied SO ARE YOU SAYING YOU ARE EXCLUSIVE TO ME? I responded its not a matter of EXCLUSIVITY, it is how i am i dont have multiple people in my life at one time, he said neither do I. so i am just going to take it one day at a time and see where things go but I get your point too


    harshlitia
    Participant
    June 15, 2016 at 6:58 pm #103435

    its all depends n you t decide on what and type yu choose in the relationship……………………………………..wish all the best …


    Jfk1996
    Participant
    June 15, 2016 at 9:11 pm #103437

    All the best


    lilrav
    Participant
    June 16, 2016 at 6:21 am #103445

    thanks @lilyvalley


    geminidmn
    Participant
    June 16, 2016 at 9:39 am #103448

    THANKS!


    lilrav
    Participant
    June 16, 2016 at 9:39 am #103446

    if you understand what is going on between you and you are clear head then do as you feel right take the one day at a time have fun enjoy yourself take things slowly if it works out fantastic all the best to you both if things start to go down hill then you need to decide when to walk away all the best


    sagigirl
    Participant
    June 16, 2016 at 6:18 pm #103545
    Reply To: i found the perfect man

    take it slow relationships flourish when u take your time


    vassi1001
    Participant
    June 22, 2016 at 3:37 am #103823
    Reply To: i found the perfect man

    this is really awesome, congrats.

    Mel4everable
    Mel4everable
    Participant
    June 27, 2016 at 5:59 pm #104147
    Reply To: i found the perfect man

    Girl, you better listen to @lilrav. I can sense that you will get hurt. Remember that one-sided expectations hurt most. You’d know best though, all the best to you.