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johnsmithisnumerounoParticipantJanuary 14, 2017 at 5:26 am #123038
Been working with a girl for about 3 months now as part of a larger group that started at the same time. Become friendly with her and think I really like her. Anyway some people are going on a mini road trip and she’s coming with me in my car ( only 2 seats). So it’s the first real time I would have had any real alone time with her so all good as far as friendly company but I can’t get a read if she’d be open to anything further. My thoughts are to be myself and after 4 hour round trip she’s either interested or not but any other tips?
Confused 223ParticipantJanuary 14, 2017 at 6:03 am #123040
Excellent chance to figure this out! Good plan from what you’ve said, I would think it might be appropriate to ask her some personal questions hinting your interest and watch her respond? Also a good time to find out if you guys have any interest in common that can provide opportunity to spend more time together?
richiroParticipantJanuary 18, 2017 at 11:05 pm #123622
1. yes be yourself.
2. it’s putting an awful lot of pressure on the both of you to say “you should know if you like me in 4 hrs and we make a decision if we’ll be a couple in 4 hrs”.. ugh.. that’s a lot. plus if this is your approach you’re going to put way too much pressure ON YOURSLEF to convince her your something in 4 hrs that YOU CAN’T truly e yourself and relaxed.
so.. don’t give it a time limit (nver do that!) just be yourself (*great idea!) and ENJOY the car ride with her .. get to know her.. let her get to know you. and just ENJOY IT. Then after the 4 hr car ride.. ENJOY the outting together (and with your friends) and use that to get to know eac hotehr and have even more fuin.
then after the trip enjoy the 4 hr ride back!
then after the 4 hr ride back and the trip is over.. CONTINUE to enjoy getting to know her afterwards at work.
just KEEP getting to know her.
at some point something will click in that you are supposed to be friends, or that you both want more.
woodj3ParticipantJanuary 20, 2017 at 12:28 pm #123924
This really is a great opportunity to get to know each other. I’ve been in a very similar situation as I believe anybody who is seeking to develop a relationship has found themselves in. A few things that I would have changed about my situation…
1. I would have allowed time for silence. I always had the music or a podcast on.
2. I could have turned the music off or down when she had something to say to me so I could properly show her the respect she deserves.
3. I spent so much time just agreeing with her because I had feelings for her that I didn’t express my actual opinions and allow her the opportunity to get to know me better. Ultimately she is going to decide that she is interested in more or less with you based off of who you are, Hopefully not based off of weather or not you are attracted to her.
4. I wish I had advice from Richiro at the time. It’s sold. haha
5. I could have been more patient and mindful. I rushed it, I wanted to know. That is a little “ego stroking”.GL!
franciscojramParticipantJanuary 20, 2017 at 1:11 pm #123940
First of all, I am happy for you my friend. I understand how you are feeling for I have been there myself. Based of what you said, I can tell that you really like this girl. There are couple of things you have to ask yourself to figure out if she likes you as a friend or she wants more than a friend. The way she acts and talks when you are around. Noticed the words she uses. Canalizes those things, then tell her how you feel about her. I believe the trip is not the only opportunity you have to get to know her more, but do not wait any longer because someone else might make a move sooner. Don’t be afraid to take ricks because she might feel same thing for you and is waiting for you to make the first move. On the other hand, if she tells you that she just want to be your friend, do not take it personal. To conclude, give this girl a reason to like you, and be persistent. When
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richiroParticipantJanuary 20, 2017 at 3:29 pm #123966
i woudlnt’ tell her how you feel on the 4 hr ride and on the trip.
the best way is to allow it to be obvious you both like each other and as if its her idea.
women are very sensitive to guys that push it or seem to wnat to push/rush it b/c they’ve experienced plenty of other guys who have pushed it and become creepy… so don’t ALIGN yourselves with the creeps she’s had to deal with in the past.
and the best way to do that is to have a good time.. not shy away from her.. but don’t PUSH it with her. women, when they are TRULY intersted, ultimately can’t help themselves but sorta start to push you every so gently and subtly or keep opening the door and try to provide you the path to walk thru.
thats what you want to look for.. don’t try to open the door yourselves. when the dor is open, what escalates it more is when you show that you can recognize that and walk thru the door appropriately. thats when they start the “he just GETS ME and KNOWS me so well!” and off we go. 🙂 Enjoy
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