I have the perfect boyfriend, so why can't I focus on him?


I have the perfect boyfriend, so why can't I focus on him?

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    May 24, 2013 at 10:58 pm #32091
    I have the perfect boyfriend, so why can't I focus on him?

    I’ve been struggling with this ever since we started dating and I don’t know what the right decision is. Please help 🙁

    I have the perfect boyfriend. On paper, he is everything I want- polite, kind, attractive, mature, caring, etc. etc. He loves me SO much and treats me so much better than I ever have been in the past. I know he would do anything for me. The problem is, he is at a stage in his life where he really wants to settle down, get married, and start a family, and…I don’t think I’m at that stage.

    This is a long distance relationship btw, and I feel like I am always in these long distance scenarios with my only past relationship being a military one. Although I love my current boyfriend as a best friend, I’m not so sure I feel much excitement toward him. Then again it’s hard to tell when I never see him. I find myself envious of couples who actually get to go on dates and spend time together.

    I just moved from NY to CA and I constantly find myself daydreaming about how awesome it would be right now to just have fun, act my age, meet new people, and most importantly date (yes, even dating the wrong guys sounds really fun to me right now.) I’ve always wanted a man to be as amazing to me as my boyfriend is, so now that I finally have this incredibly safe and secure relationship, is it totally wrong that I don’t know if I want it? I don’t know what to do, because I really do love my boyfriend and if I break up with him I could be losing the best thing that might ever come my way. I could regret losing him for the rest of my life. But if I stay with him I might always be burying this feeling like I didn’t ever get to fulfil my young, free years.

    Maybe I’m just not that into him since he doesn’t really excite me? Or maybe I just haven’t had enough of a chance to really fall hard for him? (We’ve been together 6 months but have only been together in person for about 1 month.) I know that the passion and excitement you get in new relationships is just lust and is meant to fade away into something like what I have, a safe partnership, but I’m 22! I want the lust for a few more years! The thought of leaving him crushes me, but the thought of never dating anyone new again makes me feel restless. And I know I can’t have both. Help!!

    Robin Reyes
    September 19, 2013 at 2:45 pm #32485

    You first need to know what exactly what you want… love or lust?.