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Context: I have this co-worker. She started a few months after I did so she look at me for advice a lot of times. She is cute and I would like to start something with her. I don’t know if she likes me or not but she wants to go on breaks with me all the time and also skypes me at work out of the blue. My friends think we would be good together and like I said I feel the same. The obvious problem is that we work in the same place, same team. How do I find out if she is into me without being the creepy office guy? I don’t want to create awkwardness between me and her.
PS: I’m not the most slick guy so she might have dropped some hints but I’m too slow (in this department) to pick on them
Really appreciate your advice.
atedeschi93ParticipantDecember 9, 2014 at 2:23 am #68901
Honestly, it sounds stupid and obvious but really just start flirting and hinting at it or just flat out ask her out if you want an answer right away. Look at it this way, generally if there was no interest she would never make any time for you, sure she goes on breaks with you but see how willing she is to talk outside of work and how receptive of flirting she is. If she brushes it off, never responds to texts and always seems too busy you can tell she isn’t interested. If she is responding well, flirts back and all that good stuff then definitely ask her out. Some things to look for are eye contact, stuff like playing with her hair, maybe fixing it to look better, and casual touch, all that is signs she is interested. Good luck
shawn8886ParticipantDecember 9, 2014 at 3:52 pm #68929
Ask her out for a coffee or movie or anything that you think she likes. Or ask her what she likes and invite her.
ConfusedyoungmanParticipantDecember 11, 2014 at 12:41 pm #69079
It sounds as though she might like you, but be careful. I once thought a girl in an office I worked in liked me, and when I plucked up the courage to ask her out, she really messed me about and would not give me a straight answer.February 19, 2015 at 10:46 am #73698
Okey guys. I though I’d come back and relay the story this followed and ask for your advice again. It took quite a bit from me to stop being stupid and do something about this. Granted it may have been a poorly executed plan but somehow it got me to something better. After weeks of trying to figure out whether she reciprocates to the my feeling for her, I went out drinking with some friends and got piss drunk. At 5 AM I send her a text that I like her and want to take her out. It was, as I said, a poor plan. Surprisingly enough, she writes back, knowing I was drunk, asking if I meant it or not. I admited that it was sincere. To my joy, she said she “thinks she feels the same”. After a movie date and second encounter which consisted of a couple drinks I didn’t get the idea that she was honest. On a 3rd “date” she brought up the events of my drunken texts. She said she liked me quite a lot for a while a few weeks ago but she thought I wasn’t interested so she did nothing about it.February 20, 2015 at 8:38 am #73699
(continuation) She claims that when she saw my text she got a bit nervous and she was pissed on why I didn’t say this to her when she was really into me. The “I think I feel the same” was because she wanted to find out whether those feelings are still there. I got lost after this and asked her what does this mean to me and her. She said she would be interested in giving this a full try but that those feelings are kinda gone and may never resurface.
My question for you guys is, does this mean she feels nothing and doesn’t want to take this further or does it mean she wants me to try harder and bring those feelings back? Keep in mind that I don’t see her as just a random girl, I really like her and I could see myself in serious relationship with her.
I truly appreciate your opinions and advice.
sebdhaeseParticipantFebruary 23, 2015 at 2:36 am #73909
Don’t give up, if she really had feelings for you they will come back. Be yourself and nice to her and keep dating and make sure to show that you like her.
Banker1ParticipantFebruary 28, 2015 at 2:37 pm #74405
I had a similar situation at work. I think if she’s going on break and skyping you she is comfortable with you which a huge 1st step. The next step is to spend more time together and see how it goes. I’m not a fan of jumping right into a romantic situation especially at work so try and get her to do something out of work. Nothing romantic, hang out as friends first to see how it goes. Work dating is complicated so you have to take it slow.March 10, 2015 at 8:43 pm #75162
Thanks guys for all the advice and help with this. Once again, I thought I should return to update the situation. I asked her up front if she wants me to back off or if she wants to keep trying. She said she does and that she doesn’t want to regret not doing it because she was confused. We went out again and talked almost everyday since. I decided to take things slow and not try to force this. I am trying to be myself and get to know her more and let her get to know the real me. I think she is starting to have a crush on me and she initiates our talks now. The not knowing is still making me a bit nervous though. I got an advice from a lady friend that the best way to know is to just kiss her and let the chips fall where they may. Given the fact that when we hang out we usually just do friendly discussions with the occasional more personal sharing, I was just wondering what would be the best way to shift that to a more romantic setup and make a first kiss appropriate? Once again, thanks
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