June 17, 2017 at 11:48 pm #139824
I am 22 and have never been in a romantic relationship. I am very shy, I struggle with anxiety, and I have a “learning difference” as I like to call it. I have a hard time processing information and work at a much slower pace than most other people. I tend to be hard on myself when it comes to my work and my general knowledge about the world. I am often afraid to socialize with other people because I don’t want to get judged for the reasons I just mentioned. I am writing all of this just for people to get a good sense of the kind of person I am.
In the Fall of last year, I went abroad for a semester in France. It was my first time traveling to another country without my family, so it was very scary for me. On top of that, I literally knew no one because they were all from a different university, so I was afraid of not making friends. There was only one other boy in the group of ten people. All the others were girls, so I immediately felt awkward. (Continues in the comments)June 17, 2017 at 11:49 pm #139825
I’m not used to hanging out with girls. I found this one girl to be very attractive, and shortly after we met she almost seemed to feel the same about me. It seemed like she give me a lot of attention. Now, I learned quickly that she was a very friendly person because she showed affection by touching her friends a lot. She did this with the other boy too. However, it seemed like she gave me the most attention. She would casually glance over at me, rest her head on my shoulder, touch my hair, that kind of thing. Whenever she would do these things, I would completely freeze. I never knew what to do, and I was too nervous to talk to her. She seemed to flirt with me one moment but would ignore me the next. This happened off and on again and again. I think this is the first time a girl really showed me this much affection, so I didn’t know how to react. At the time, I wasn’t really confident in myself so I always doubted if she like me or not. (Continues in the comments)June 19, 2017 at 12:22 pm #139826
This happened throughout the entire France trip. Towards the end, on like, the second to last day, everyone went on a final hike. While this girl was looking at the view, the rest of the group moved forward. I somehow got the courage to come up from behind and try to hold her hand. She moved away and asked me what I was doing. I asked her if she like me, and she responded by saying that the whole group became best friends, but she didn’t like me in that way. I was crushed. But she was all the way from Pennsylvania while I am from Massachusetts, so I guess it wouldn’t have worked out anyway. If anyone could tell me what this girl’s intentions might have been, that would be great.
I have more to share but I can wait and see what people comment first. Sorry that this was so long. I had a lot to say. Thank you!June 19, 2017 at 12:24 pm #139827
Towards the end of the trip, everyone went on a final hike. During the hike the group went ahead while the girl stayed behind to look at the view. Somehow, I gained the courage to try to hold her hand, but she moved away and asked me what I was doing. I asked her if she liked me, and said that we were all best friends. She claims she didn’t like in that way though. I was disappointed, but she lived in a different state. It probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway. If anyone thinks they might know what this girl’s intentions were, that would be great.
I’m sorry for the long post. I had a lot to say.
EllipsisParticipantJune 19, 2017 at 4:36 pm #139961
Whoa, that’s a long post!
I’ve had the pleasure of dating a French girl, and (not to make a generalisation) but many seem to be quite ‘full on’ – friendly, flirty, and touchy (not like in ‘take me now’ kinda way, but more a gentle touch on the arm)
Anyway, it’s hard to say what she wanted. I imagine she liked you, but got rid of the notion of any kind of ‘future’ between you two because of the distance, the fact you we’re not there very long, and maybe a language barrier?
Admittedly, it sounds like you could have reciprocated her affections a bit more, but that comes with confidence. Girls love confidence! Even after rejection. Basically my one tip is ‘fake it till you make it’
Perhaps you moved too quickly, it’s likely that she liked you, but wasn’t expecting things to happen so fast. In answer to your question; she was hoping for reciprocated affection, and the chance to make a friend over in the States, that could have maybe one day become more once she got to know you betterJune 19, 2017 at 5:32 pm #139980
Thanks for the advice, but I’m afraid I didn’t make myself clear. That’s my fault. I went to France through one college while everyone else came from a different college. She wasn’t actually a French girl, we just met in France. She was a part of the group so I saw her every day. The others were all from Pennsylvania though, including the girl. So it would still have been long distance. And I really did try to respond to her in some way, but I didn’t do it very well.
lovie4youParticipantJune 20, 2017 at 4:23 pm #140107
Sorry, you are going through all that. I will tell you what the distance does not matter. I went to the Philippines and married a girl I did a visa on her and brought her to the United States, 10 years later she divorced me that was the saddest day of my life. More than likely this girl has a boyfriend back home. This girl I’m sure did not want to be without a guy all she was doing is teasing you which I think is wrong all she was doing is entertaining herself. Just be careful out there.
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