i need advice….big time.

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i need advice….big time.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    marvelous1
    marvelous1
    Participant
    October 30, 2014 at 1:48 pm #66850
    i need advice….big time.

    met a guy a year ago.
    i fell head over heels. he didnt. he kept dating other people until about august this year.
    from august until now (almost NOV) he has been with me all the time.
    he’s lived with me since april.
    he has been sleeping in my bed for over a month straight now.
    he says he loves me. holds hands with me.
    we do all the couple stuff.
    BUT
    he will NOT call me his girlfriend. he still says we are just friends!
    why am i not good enough to date!?
    he says “why do you need a title?” and “you’re getting all the good stuff from dating without any of the bad..” he says he gets mean when he dates… but he says we are “basically dating now” just without actually saying it. wtf?!
    am i being stupid for wanting the title?
    also.. he never wants to have sex with me. he says im too sexual. he never compliments me. never says i am hot. im a 7 on his scale. i want to be a 10. the only girl he wants. he says he loves me but i want to feel loved. feel wanted and desired.
    help!

    lizzy569
    lizzy569
    Participant
    October 31, 2014 at 4:00 am #66889

    It’s in our nature to want labels and to be the prettiest girl in the world due to what television and movies say love is. In the end though, if you really don’t feel special to him you need to have a talk with him and if he isn’t willing to change you need to determine whether your willing to let go.

    morpheus
    morpheus
    Participant
    November 1, 2014 at 8:18 pm #66939

    Let him go. You are giving so much and being available and he’s not respecting that at all. Your’e getting all the good stuff from dating? really? Sounds like you’re being used & you deserve much more. I never get why women (I’m a straight guy) don’t make men work harder in relationships. Everything is given too easily and so they don’t respect, treasure you like they f***ing should. Like Lizzy569 said ‘talk to him’ and be strong enough to cut him lose if he cant give you not what you want but what you deserve.


    lynnthelesbo
    Participant
    November 1, 2014 at 8:53 pm #66940

    Let him go. He won’t commit to you, which is sad but it’s true. If a guy doesn’t want to commit to a girl, it usually means she’s not worth it. If a guy really loved a girl, he would drop the world to be with her. He sounds like a douche, don’t be involved with men like that. You seem like a great girl, get out there and find someone who isn’t a coward like him!


    t9700
    Participant
    November 2, 2014 at 12:08 am #66945

    Everyone is different tittles are not important to me, actions are. If he is good to you and you feel loved, the title is meaninless however if he is sleeping around and you feel used in a way. LEAVE.


    Anonymous
    November 2, 2014 at 7:17 am #66953

    Look, this seems really shady of the guy. He obviously isn’t giving you the appropriate amount of respect. You just need to take control of the situation, because it seems like he is not taking it seriously at all. If he truly loves you he will be happy to accept that he is officially your boyfriend. If not I think you need to tell him to hit the road.


    hk416
    Participant
    November 2, 2014 at 8:19 am #66957

    Like many said above, if he doesn’t have the respect to call you his girlfriend, then you don’t need to be with him. Right now he is just using you as a confidence booster, I do believe. If he really means “I love you” and really loved being with you and being yours, he would call you his girlfriend.

    tinka101
    tinka101
    Participant
    November 2, 2014 at 9:00 pm #66965

    I think he just using u ..let it go and find someone who
    Want to love u back.

    marvelous1
    marvelous1
    Participant
    November 3, 2014 at 3:24 pm #66979
    Reply To: i need advice….big time.

    i want to just tell him i deserve better. i want to explain myself to him, but any time i try, he gets mad. he either leaves or hangs up the phone and ignores me or something. and no matter how mad i get at him, i forgive and still stay. i do love him. for whatever reason. he says i deserve better and i know i do too. and he hurt me (emotionally, not physically) a few days ago and when i brought it up, he didnt apologize or anything.. he just said “yeah.. i told you i am a selfish jerk..” and i just said “i know you said that.. you just show it more lately..” and that was it. no remorse or anything.

    i hate myself for not being smarter about this. i wish i could get the balls to say i deserve more and demand it and leave if i dont get it… but.. i know he would leave and i dont want him to leave…
    im a pansy… =/ desperate for this boy to love me and tell me im his everything. desperate for him to choose me and make me feel like im worth a damn. i just want him approval and love


    bootyboot
    Participant
    November 6, 2014 at 10:10 pm #67160
    Reply To: i need advice….big time.

    If a guy ever gives you the “we don’t need a label” excuse, then he is stringing you along. He’s not going to come around, trust me. He probably enjoys your company, but does not think of you as “the one.” Not to be harsh, but he is using you as a placeholder until someone better comes along. This is a guy who does not want to be alone. If he is living with you and sleeping in your bed but has not made you his girlfriend, then he is not that into you. You are comfortable to him, there for him, and you love him. He knows this and it is an ego boost for him.
    Therefore, it’s time to get rid of him. Don’t explain to him why you’re great and deserve his love. That won’t make any difference. You should never have to convince someone to love you. It just doesn’t work that way. This guy is toxic and you need to move on and dump him.