I need advice on a controlling girlfriend / being emasculated

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I need advice on a controlling girlfriend / being emasculated

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    nm444bh
    nm444bh
    Participant
    July 16, 2014 at 10:45 am #57596
    I need advice on a controlling girlfriend / being emasculated

    My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 5 years now. We met in college. She’s always been the dominant personality in the relationship whereas I’ve been submissive.l never really cared. My make friends would point out years ago that I was wrapped around her finger and poke fun. I ignored. Now that she’s out of law school at 27 (I’m 25) I’ve been turned in to a complete slave. First, I am never allowed to make decisions in the relationship, she will completely invalidate whatever I say. If I try to object she will sternly throw it in my face that she makes a six figure salary and I’m a loser with a Bachelors degree making less than $60k. She will do this in private as well as in front of her girlfriend which humiliates me to no end. Going out to dinner is always her choice, and I have to tag along. If I say I want to go somewhere she laughs and jokes like I’m somehow a 7 year old little boy and writes off my opinion. If we don’t go out to dinner I’m expected To have dinner ready

    nm444bh
    nm444bh
    Participant
    July 17, 2014 at 8:34 am #57597

    Continued: at home. If I don’t for whatever reason (no time or work or tired) she will verbally berate me and punish me by making me cook for a straight week. Sex is always at her initiation, and I don’t even bother to ask for it because the few times that I did she would only tell me how she tells her girlfriends I need training and I’m like a little boy in bed. If she wants it, it’s never an option for me to say no. I am the center of jokes by her girlfriends and my male friends are starting to pity me. If we are around her friends I’m always nervous and quiet, hoping she will spare me the humiliation. I’ve tried talking to her about it and she says “aww are you a butt hurt man who can’t tolerate an empowered woman” or ” I want to make sure you know your place in the relationship and this is how men usually treat women.” I honestly feel like shit sometimes for even being born a male! Like seriously sorry I’m a guy and such a loser, but why are you so mean to me?!

    nm444bh
    nm444bh
    Participant
    July 17, 2014 at 8:34 am #57598

    And if I don’t she will punish me by making me cool dinner for a week straight before he allows us to go back out to dinner. Cleaning has become my responsibility, and when I offered to bring a housekeeper she said I’m not in a worthy career to have the need for one. Sex is never my choice, she always has to initiate it. The few times I helplessly asked for it she was critical of how I’m like in bed, and even tells her girlfriends he’s “like a little boy who needs training.” Honestly she sometimes makes me feel bad for being a male. Sorry I was born one and such a loser but do you have to


    Anonymous
    July 29, 2014 at 12:21 am #58434

    If she’s too controlling get rid of her. You don’t want her stepping all over you.


    helpplease
    Participant
    July 29, 2014 at 3:51 pm #58464

    If she doesn’t care about your opinion then does she really care about you? Do you want to be with her even if she doesn’t care about what you want? You have to think about what is best for you and what will make you happy. If doing what she wants just keeps the peace is it really worth it? Compromising is necessary for any relationship. Both of you should make compromises not just one person. If she was in love with you she won’t call you a loser because she makes a larger salary. If she were in love with you why would she humiliate you in front of friends. My suggestion is to talk to her and tell her calmly how you feel and take some time to think if you want to be with her still.


    Tim94
    Participant
    July 29, 2014 at 8:33 pm #58497

    My advice is just dump her and find someone who isn’t too controlling, and who actually shows you the respect that you deserve.