August 16, 2016 at 1:06 pm #108391
Need Advice. I am a sophomore in university, and have been friends with a girl for the last semester, nothing more. She was a part of our friend group and we all got along well. Towards the last month of classes i noticed that we became a bit closer, a little more touchy, and one thing led to the next and we really hit it off. She must have spent 2 weeks every night in my room, where we would talk for hours, kiss, and just romance it was absolutely fantastic and it felt so much more real than my other relationships. Apparently though she had JUST broken up with her ex about 2weeks before this whole chain of events. She just really seemed to have strong feelings for me, and we even decided to go official for two weeks which was incredibly quick, we went for dinner, shopping, spent a lot of time together and it was amazing. Summer came and we were kindof sad, we decided to just be friends and it was okay. For the first month and a half we would text and talk everyday, skype atleast oncAugust 16, 2016 at 5:44 pm #108393
once a week and it still felt great. Over the next few months however we became a bit more distant, not talking much at all, maybe making communication once every week or so, so like nothing. Now it’s a couple weeks before school and we started up a tad, and we decided to talk about it. She told me that we probably shouldn’t have done what we had done that last month, and that she was in a very bad state after her break up, and that she had absolutey no feelings for me at all and was sorry. I kindof figured but it just rattles me a bit, those countless nights where we would just look talk and stare at eachother and smile seemed too real to just disappear like that. I felt like this was the real deal, only to have it shut down like this. We hope to still be friends, and I think I’ll br alright, but i would absolutely love some advice. You can probably tell im not the most expereienced in terms of relationships. Sorry for the wall of text.August 16, 2016 at 5:44 pm #108397
A week, then after that we stopped talking rssentially. Texting probably once a week etc. then its now two weeks before school and we decided to talk. She said that we probably shouldn’t have done what we did that month, and that she was in a bad state after her break up which honestly didn’t seem because she even told me she had no feeings for him before. Now she tells me she has absolutey no feeings for me and that she is sorry. I just don’t really get it, how could something so good, all those nights laying together talking laughing kissing and just staring at eachother end so abruptly with her just losing all her feeings. She wants to still be friends, and im sure itt
Be alright but it feels so wierd. Sorry for the text
complicatedParticipantAugust 17, 2016 at 11:36 am #108562
Perhaps tell her how you feel, maybe she feels the same way and is too scared to be in a committed relationship after her break up.
Madisonrose1ParticipantAugust 17, 2016 at 3:18 pm #108628
I recommend giving her some space so you and her can think about the future for you 2. Or talk to her, and tell her that you will be waiting if she changes her mind.
MikeGreoParticipantAugust 18, 2016 at 11:56 pm #108817
Ask her, what you’ve ask us. People are complex creatures, they themselves don’t know what they want.
miclessmikeParticipantAugust 22, 2016 at 8:48 am #108970
Man, this thread is a great example of how useless dating advice is. In two posts you got polar opposite suggestions: “tell her how you feel” and “back off for awhile.”
Based on what you described, it sounds like she was upset over her breakup and just used you as a coping mechanism. She realizes that now and regrets it, but it’s already done the damage and left you hurt and confused. If it were me, I’d straight up tell her I’m not gonna be a teddy bear to help her work through her breakups; that if she wants a relationship, I’m open to it, but if not, it’s no skin off my back. You’re a human being with self respect, not a disposable dildo to be brought out whenever she makes a stupid relationship decision. Otherwise she could do it again after her next breakup, and it’ll create a poisonous cycle you’ll never get out of.
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