I need help


I need help

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    March 26, 2017 at 7:40 am #131183
    I need help

    Greetings everyone. My search for help has led me to this place, because I really need other people’s advice on the matter.

    I am seeing a girl, who is currently quite busy – she is doing her doctor’s residency. Obviously she doesn’t get a lot of free time, but we do see each other and enjoy our company. We really click and we have both acknowledged that – however, she comes from somewhat dysfunctional family and has grown into a person with so little self-confidence, it almost hurts. She is also quite inexperienced when it comes to relationships and she just doesn’t know how to deliver commitment.

    I have tried to talk to her about where we want to take our relationship to which she just says that so far in her life things have been happening without her guiding them, so she is taking a similar stance with us. The problem is, I feel that if we just let things go without guidance, basically anything between nothing and everything can happen.

    I want the best to happen – how?

    April 16, 2017 at 11:59 pm #133406

    take her out of a few days trip. if she really like you she will come don’t involved sex in this yet but let things happen if it goes that way. when you spend more time on a trip the attraction can grow and then you will get to know her. all the best

    April 17, 2017 at 12:05 am #133407

    There is still so much to learn about her. Tarry, take your own time. From what you said, you have a pretty good idea about the other person, but don’t jump into any decisions rather give her time. You can definitely help her improve her self confidence. This is where a partner can be an asset.
    Meanwhile, Check if she is really available for you, in your times of need, when you really need her in your life. If you can reach out to her.
    trust is the base of every foundation. With time things will be crystal clear for you. So wait and see.

    April 17, 2017 at 5:47 am #133414

    You just don’t try to “fix” your loved ones. Especially when it comes to self-confidence it’s not something that relies on others, self confidence well…comes from yourself. Instead of trying to “fix” the self-confidence, do things together that will help her boost her confidence. Do exciting things, go out and be adventurous, exercise, travel, camp, sports whatever it is just do it, get out of your comfort zone. Getting out of your comfort zone is the best way to gain confidence, make small goals together and achieve them together.

    My self worth tanked to sub nautical levels after my breakup, and it wasn’t because of what my ex said to me, it’s what I perceived myself to be. You don’t need to baby an adult, they don’t want to be baby’ed. Go out and have fun, go out and do things that will make her happy.

    April 17, 2017 at 6:25 am #133418

    I feel for ya mate, I’m having similar experience:(

    April 17, 2017 at 7:50 am #133433

    I would suggest to take your time, and not to pressure her into it – as she becomes more comfortable she may be willing to commit more?