I need help managing my expectations

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I need help managing my expectations

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    AlexxA
    Participant
    March 16, 2017 at 4:07 pm #130343
    I need help managing my expectations

    Met guy, then he had to leave for school 4 hours away. He has continued texting me. We text/snapchat every other day or so. I sit back and let him text me, but sometimes snapchat him. I always actively participate in conversations. He has to know I am interested. I feel like at this point we are in the same spot we were. Its been three months. We have not gotten to know each other that much better or gotten closer. I’m open to learning more about him, asking questions, & sharing more about me, but I feel he gets generic and almost holding me at arms length. We flirt a ton. That never seems to be an issue. He loves being suggestive & asking me to come visit him, but I have made it clear I will not, since we aren’t dating & I am more than a booty call. If I post a photo/social media post, he will text me right away saying “You’re so cute” etc…

    I am disappointed at this point and unsure of what to do. Every time we talk now, I just sit back feeling like “Why are we even talking?”


    AlexxA
    Participant
    March 16, 2017 at 4:10 pm #130344

    Anyone have advice on managing expectations. Been talking to this guy online for three months now. Its been exciting, but I still really don’t know him yet. I truly don’t feel like you know someone until you go on a date or meet in person. He will be coming here in a month from now. I’m terrified and excited to meet him, if we do end up meeting up. I hope we do. I feel like I’m not going to be all that fun. I’m going to be nervous, shy, and crushing hard. I don’t want to have all these expectations so quickly. Its driving me crazy and I think it puts unnecessary pressure on something that isn’t there yet. I’m constantly finding myself thinking about him, if he likes me, what he is doing, stalking him on social media, second guessing myself, feeling unsure. I wish I could just live in the moment, have no expectations, be myself, and let the real me shine through.


    barvazyarok
    Participant
    March 17, 2017 at 8:27 am #130378

    The reality is that if you live apart, it’s going to be hard to keep things going. I would continue to focus on your life, and let things flow naturally. If he’s super into you, things will work out, but keep in mind he does have a lot of distractions at school and probably will have a lot less time for you unless he decides to make you a priority. :/


    AlexxA
    Participant
    March 17, 2017 at 8:56 am #130383

    I agree. When this whole thing started, he messaged me on facebook, asked for my number, started texting me every single day. Sometimes all day long. We made plans twice, but he bailed for family stuff . Swore he did want to meet me & still does, when I called him out on it. I thought when he went back to school he would be distracted & it would end, but he continued texting me. Now its multiple times a week we talk. Last week we texted all day long. Then this week it was shorter, more snapchats. Like why talk to me for three months? He calls me cute nicknames, versions of my own name, and “Cutie” seems to be his new go to. I posted a picture on social media & he immediately liked it & texted me to tell me I was cute. Like now we haven’t spoken in a little while, & I’m started to get panicked, that he doesn’t like me etc… Feeling like I need to remind him of me. Throw myself out there to make him like me. When I know this isn’t how it should be or what I should need to do.