I need help on how to approach an awkward situation.

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I need help on how to approach an awkward situation.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    whitepickle
    Participant
    September 7, 2014 at 10:14 pm #60862
    I need help on how to approach an awkward situation.

    I’ll try to keep this one as brief as possible for you guys.

    Anyway, about a few weeks ago I had met up with this girl that I had a crush on for the past couple of years. We made out for a little bit that night; had a great time, blah blah blah. After that point we texted quite frequently: you know, the typical flirty stuff. We met up a few more times and did pretty much the same thing. We made out, talked, and had a good time. Afterwards we would text, and at this time the texting was becoming quite intimate. She would tell me how amazing I was, how much she wanted me, and I would reciprocate. Keep in mind that this arrangement was not an exclusive relationship. After a few meet ups like this, I decided to ask her to be exclusive. She said that she just wasn’t ready to make the commitment, and she needed to figure out a few things first.


    whitepickle
    Participant
    September 7, 2014 at 10:14 pm #60863

    Later that night she sent me some pretty intimate messages, about how much she really wanted to date me, but just couldn’t do it at that time. Again, I understood, and I decided to just let it go for the time being. I figured when she was ready she would tell me. I’m not entirely sure why, but after that point she started sending me mixed signals. She would consistently send me text messages confirming how much she wanted me, but every time I tried to make plans she would flake, and our texting decreased as well. This has happened about five or six times. I’m never too pushy about it, I just ask if she wants to hang out and she always gives me a bullshit excuse. Now, at this point I’ve taken the hint. I’m not taking it that hard, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but at the same time I want to confront her about it. I don’t want to just cut off communication, leaving no closure. My question is, how do I bring this issue up through text? She works quite a bit so I can’t call her.


    whitepickle
    Participant
    September 8, 2014 at 9:01 am #60864

    I’m struggling to find an eloquent way to bring this one up. I can tell by the typical smoke signals she’s sending me that its pretty much a lost cause, so I just want to talk to her about it, and if it comes to it, end the “relationship” on good terms.

    Thank you very much in advance!

    Me_too
    Me_too
    Participant
    September 9, 2014 at 2:47 am #60983

    Whitepickle, do you really want to be with someone who is having doubts about being exclusive with you? The reason of her doubts is because she’s probably considering her options if she’s seeing or talking to someone else.. She clearly likes the game if she’s having second thoughts of committing to you. I hope that’s not the case.. But if she has been exploring other options then.. If you really want her then you have to let her know that you do not want to share her with no one else.. She obviously likes you, a lot!!! So make her miss you, be a great guy and be yourself, you’ve already told her how you feel so there is no need to say it again.. Step back and if she really wants you then she will miss the great thing you guys had and will try to approach you. Most guys make it too easy so be the guy that is confident and don’t need her to be happy.. She will respect you more than the other options.. If there is any. Believe that you are a great catch and if she misses out then. Too bad


    Anonymous
    September 9, 2014 at 9:43 am #60987

    Hi whitepickle….I understand you want to create some closure. I do not suggest on any level to text her! Call and leave a message. She needs to hear your voice.

    It’s pretty simple really. You can say something to this effect: “hey….I am not sure what has changed over the past couple of weeks. I feel like I am getting mixed messages from you now. I am getting flirty, connective messages and then every time I try to get together with you, it just never happens….for whatever reason. Either way, it ends up making me feel like you are no longer inspired to get together and hang out. I am not sure how to interpret all of that but I am at the point now where I am going to let this thing between us go. I really want to invest my energy in someone who truly wants to get to know me and has no reservations about that and it seems you have quite a few of those. And that’s okay…..I respect that. Should something change or if I am misinterpreting you, let me know. Otherwise,


    Anonymous
    September 9, 2014 at 9:45 am #60988

    I am just going to create closure. I truly appreciate what we did share and wish all the best to you! No hard feelings at all. I’m sure I will see you around! Take care.”

    Does this help?

    warrior4488
    warrior4488
    Participant
    September 9, 2014 at 1:30 pm #61002

    Maybe everytime she makes a move and wants to get into something with you, it reminds her of her past relationships and the pain that ensued (just guessing) hence shes finding a way to backout at the end, coz of fear. I think you should be a nice guy and try from your side to win her over, see what happens..