I planned the second date

DATING ADVICE FORUM

I planned the second date

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    August 8, 2017 at 10:15 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    JessC
    Participant
    June 2, 2017 at 6:57 pm #138359
    I planned the second date

    So I’m new to the dating world since I just got out of a long relationship. I have gone out on a first date with two men. Both dates went well. One makes good money and the other is a broke grad student. The grad student asked me out on a second date but said he is too broke. I suggested we go to a free comedy show where I used my points on a website to get tickets. It didn’t cost me anything. He’s excited about the date. But now my friends said I look less feminine because he is supposed to plan the date and now he will never take me seriously. Did I mess up? How do I bounce back and keep my femininity? I really am out of practice.


    whyhellohuman
    Participant
    June 4, 2017 at 11:41 pm #138385

    I truly don’t think it’s much of a problem for you to have done that.It really doesn’t matter what they have said about you sacrificing your femininity, if anything, the man will respect you for what you’ve done, it shows him that you’re resourceful person, which he will most likely respect for you not spending a bunch of money to have a good time. It really comes down to what the guy thinks, I’m not him, but if he’s excited, he sees no problem with it and neither should you. (I hope this helps)

    Kenneth87
    Kenneth87
    Participant
    June 5, 2017 at 12:53 am #138391

    You’re overthinking it. On the contrary, if I was the grad student I’d be thrilled that I met a girl who showed initiative. Not only that, you’re showing him you’re willing to give him a chance, as is, in spite of an economical situation he might feel sensitive about.

    If you want to put things in traditional boxes like your friends are suggesting you do, ask yourself how you would feel if you met a guy who insisted he paid for everything on a date every time.

    A person’s economic situation is often temporary while a potential relationship can vary greatly in length.


    lovelyLAgirl
    Participant
    June 5, 2017 at 9:13 am #138380

    I don’t think you are any less feminine just because you planned the 2nd date. My ex and i used to go back and forth planning dates for each other.
    HOWEVER, i’ve dated “broke” guys before and having to always pay the bill will get annoying. That is something to consider. If that doesn’t bother you, if he’s a nice guy and you’re really interested in him, I say go for it.

    Kenneth87
    Kenneth87
    Participant
    June 5, 2017 at 9:13 am #138399

    About your femininity by the way. You keep it by being feminine… Initiative is not a masculine trait.


    JessC
    Participant
    June 6, 2017 at 5:06 pm #138561

    Thanks guys! We had fun on the date and he was thrilled with the activity we did. In fact, he was more than happy to pay for my drink and was a real gentleman. I was overthinking things.