I think I may need a woman's perspective here

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I think I may need a woman's perspective here

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    Ry24601
    Participant
    February 7, 2016 at 6:58 am #93100
    I think I may need a woman's perspective here

    Hello, I’m in a bit of a weird situation at the moment and need a friendly set of ears. A few months ago I was out for Halloween and I met this really great girl, she’s attractive, funny, smart and we had loads in common. We exchanged contacts that night and for the next month or so would chat all the time online, often until late at night, time just seemed to fly. One evening she offered me to come along with her and her bandmates (she’s a drummer) to a bar. This was the first time we’d met in person since our initial meeting and the sparks flew, we got on really well and ended up going to a house party at a friends, where we slept together, a big deal for me as I’m not the kind of guy who sleeps around unless I really like someone.

    The next day we were chatting online again about how great of time we had when she dropped a bombshell. She had a boyfriend.


    Ry24601
    Participant
    February 7, 2016 at 7:03 am #93101

    (Continued) I was hurt and felt used and told her as much. She said she’d wanted to leave for ages but they’d lived together for six years and felt trapped. I told her that I really liked her and that if she wanted to leave him, that was something she needed to sort out, I wasn’t going to be her bit on the side but I liked her enough to wait a while for the dust to settle and take things slow. Within a week shed left him and we had our first date on boxing day 😮 It was amazing, the chemistry was wonderful, we were kissing, holding hands and being very sweet with each other, I’ve never felt this way about anyone, I’ve always been unlucky with women you see. I was reluctant to sleep with her so soon and said I didn’t want to be a rebound, or be used or anything. She assured me I wouldn’t be, that she liked me a lot.

    We slept together and have been seeing each other every week, cuddling, kissing, texting , the whole shebang for the last couple of months


    Ry24601
    Participant
    February 8, 2016 at 9:30 am #93104

    Then a week ago, she changed completely.


    Ry24601
    Participant
    February 8, 2016 at 9:31 am #93102

    She was making plans, even booked us into an event together, talking as if we were going steady. Then last week, her band played a gig, her first since joining them and I went to see her as agreed. It was strange, when I got there she was acting so distant, until now, we’ve been inseparable in private and public, but she pretty much ignored me for most of the night and hung with a friend of hers. The whole atmosphere was awkward and I felt like something was seriously wrong. I’ll admit, I may have had a couple of drinks because of it (it was a gig though, that happens) and when I went out into the smoking area to say hi and congratulate her on playing well she and this friend immediately went back inside, its like she was avoiding being around me, which doesn’t add up with everything over the last couple of months, we’d woken up beside each other the morning before.


    Ry24601
    Participant
    February 8, 2016 at 9:31 am #93103

    A week ago I attended a gig of hers where she was totally distant, like she was avoiding me. It continued all night, then at the end, she confronted me


    lilyvalley
    Participant
    February 8, 2016 at 2:40 pm #93172

    she’s not someone you want to be with as much as you dno’t want to hear that. She just wants to sleep with guys and move on. Not a serious relathionship material girl forget about her. Please answer mine.

    angela2000
    angela2000
    Participant
    February 8, 2016 at 10:32 pm #93196

    She has a boyfriend. Unless she is prepared to leave him for you just let it go. Move on.


    lilyvalley
    Participant
    February 8, 2016 at 11:58 pm #93198

    Angela, can you answer mine please?

    laura
    laura
    Participant
    February 11, 2016 at 9:43 am #93303

    Sounds bizarre….a good relationship needs communication…she should be able to tell you what is going on…give her space and if she doesn’t respond (very soon), let her go. There is more to this story than either you or I know. Until she communicates that to you, I wouldn’t waste my time pursuing her. I know it hurts…I am sorry…go out and have fun with your buddies…who knows, you may meet an awesome girl (they are out there) who is really into you and is just the one you have been looking for all along. At that point, you will be glad the drummer turned into a disappearing act and left you wide open for a real relationship.


    adrichards
    Participant
    February 14, 2016 at 1:08 pm #93525
    Reply To: I think I may need a woman's perspective here

    Shes got previous on the whole sleeping with other blokes whilst in a relationship ( you)… its not implausible that shes sleeping with someone else?


    Bookworm115
    Participant
    February 14, 2016 at 8:06 pm #93533
    Reply To: I think I may need a woman's perspective here

    I’m going to second the above comments – this relationship, as you’ve described it, is raising a lot of red flags. It might be difficult, but it might be best for you to move on and start afresh with someone new.


    lovebonbons
    Participant
    February 15, 2016 at 2:34 am #93544
    Reply To: I think I may need a woman's perspective here

    Hy im just going to be blunt,this woman here is bad news,shes clearly disloyal and hasbt got much in the way of morals and standards if she flirts and chats with guys and goes around sleeping with them whilst shes still living with another man who shes been with for 6years ,shes clearly a cheater and if she did it to him with you,next in line unfortunately would be you,she also lied and purposely did not care to tell you she was in a relationship until after she had already slept with you ?its pretty clear what sort of a woman she is,and if you really want to be lucky in love starting looking at the right women,good women .

    djames
    djames
    Participant
    February 18, 2016 at 10:26 am #93845
    Reply To: I think I may need a woman's perspective here

    I can almost guarantee that she didn’t break up with the last boyfriend. They probably went on a “break”, she was experimenting with you to see what she liked more, now she’s heading back to her old flame. Very common practice for girls who might be afraid they’re reaching the point of proposal (six years is a long time).


    Bodie
    Participant
    February 20, 2016 at 6:17 am #93976
    Reply To: I think I may need a woman's perspective here

    Coming from a male….sorry dude, I’m new and need to post a couple of comments before I can start my first thread it seems. However, your post caught my eye because well, it was going to be my title as well. Dam you. My advice would be even though your into her, give her some space and see what happens. Try to move on to whatever if you can but, you don’t want to be the guy constantly getting played (Or getting yourself or feelings hurt) because she sounds really confused, maybe has some issues that need to be addressed…..whatever the case. If she turns some of things going with her into positives. Like leaving shitty boyfriends etc… If she’s really into you, then after you explain this to her she will appreciate you and what your saying, maybe take a look at her life, and she’ll return the girl you sound like you are looking for. Sorry so long, but anyway l have to respond to one more thread before I can ask my very different question, but to the same audience.


    Bodie
    Participant
    February 20, 2016 at 6:21 am #93977
    Reply To: I think I may need a woman's perspective here

    What is the question you have that you want to be responded to? I’m going to try to find it, but hit me up if you want to ask someone else about whatever. I’ll talk to ya probably not soon but I’m trying. Damn newbies.

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