I think she maybe is just too shy to say she's lost interest. Help?


I think she maybe is just too shy to say she's lost interest. Help?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    November 10, 2016 at 8:53 pm #117102
    I think she maybe is just too shy to say she's lost interest. Help?

    So I went on two dates with this girl and I’m hoping to go on a third soon, but every time I start a conversation, it gets derailed and we just chat until one of us can’t any more. Our last date was almost a month ago. I don’t think she’s lost interest yet, because she usually pretty actively engages in texting conversations (asks me questions back, writes lengthy responses, that kind of thing.) But on Monday I sent her a text and got no response at all, and yesterday I tried again, but once I hit a point in the conversation where it felt natural to ask her out she said she had to go to bed and I just told her goodnight (it was getting late.) And that’s happened more than once, and I’m worried she can sense when I’m gonna ask and is avoiding it. I have asked her since our last date but either I’ve been busy or she’s been busy or I just didn’t have solid enough plans and nothing happened. Is she just avoiding saying no to me? And is it weird if I ask her out without prior conversation?

    November 12, 2016 at 7:35 am #117126

    Not at all just ask her out. Girls want the guy to take the lead. She’s probably waiting for you.

    November 14, 2016 at 9:06 am #117105

    Also, we met on OKCupid, and I can see that she checks it regularly, which I recognize is a double standard because obviously I’m checking OKCupid regularly too, but I feel like men and women use OKCupid differently (since men are the ones doing, I guess, the “courting”. I worry I was disappointing in person, but then, why bother with a second date?) She also told me on our first date that it was not only her first OKCupid date, but her first date ever, and that she’s been on OKCupid for over a year. At first I thought that meant she really liked me, but now I’m thinking maybe she’s just becoming more open to dating, and I was just the first guy to message her since she made that change. But I did feel like we really connected in those first messages and on the first date. The first time I started to recognize that things weren’t going perfectly was on the second date, which wasn’t bad, but I was definitely overly nervous. I think she could feel it.