I want some tips to stop beating myself up over this!

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I want some tips to stop beating myself up over this!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    emily31
    Participant
    May 18, 2013 at 12:39 am #31602
    I want some tips to stop beating myself up over this!

    Hello, I’m a 24 year old woman.
    So far, I’ve only had two relationships.

    I met this guy two months ago. It’d been almost a year since I broke up with my ex. I dated a couple of guys but I didn’t like all of them in the end. So I was quite excited to meet this new guy.

    On third date, I felt so connected I ended up sleeping with him. But we didn’t have sex but did some foreplay except for having sex cause we couldn’t. we tried but failed two times. The last time I had sex was one year ago. So I guess that was the reason. But we enjoyed making out that night.

    Ever since the day, I started worrying after the day, regretting what I did that night. I tried to play hard to get again. So for about a week, he mostly initiated texting me. But I said I would be busy the next weekend, he went on a trip after two weeks, so we met again after 3 weeks. And I felt like I was upset when I finally met him. He didn’t seem as affectionate as he was at first either. After the day, he kept sending messages but like once in a while. every 3 days. And we couldn’t see each other the next weekend either So I playfully texted him that we should hang out upcoming weekend and he said he would like to but his friend is coming to visit him and he would be very busy this weekend.

    That was my last straw. He kept texting me but didn’t ask me out.
    So I asked him to meet me tomorrow evening. And I told him that I felt a bit uncomfortable after getting physically too intimate soon, I was not looking for just a fling but more than that eventually and I want a guy who is genuinely interested in who I am, wants to get to know me and make some time to spend time together. I said I want him to be just honest with me and asked if he wants the same thing. He said he doesn’t know. He felt connected at first but nowadays is feeling disconnected and he’s busy with his life and all that… So he suggested becoming friends first. I said yes. He even suggested going to see a movie.

    But after the day, he hasn’t contacted me for 2 weeks.

    I’m still keeping saying to myself “I shouldn’t have done that.” “I could’ve done differently..” Why do you think he lost interest? being physically intimate early on or being not be able to have an intercourse that night?
    Well, both?

    Actually, I was not expecting that I can marry the guy or anything.
    I’m not sure if physically being intimate made me confused and emotional..
    I still beat myself up over this. what should I do?
    And it would be great if you share your story about how you could move on after being rejected!