I went for it and am confused with the outcome

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I went for it and am confused with the outcome

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Anonymous
    September 6, 2015 at 10:00 am #85176
    I went for it and am confused with the outcome

    I am looking for feedback as i recently approached a girl and am very confused with the outcome. I have very little experience dating so hopefully other here can help. I met someone through work that I last year and we have gotten along super well. The better I got to know her the more I liked her. Well she got engaged to the only guy shes ever dated been with him since she was 13 she now is 22. There is abit of an age difference since im allot older but we got along so well and as a friend she started confiding in me. The more she opened u the more I was convinced it wasnt gonna work out with her guy but i just remained friends.
    Even though we hadn’t known each other for too long she would talk to me about her situation with her guy and that she wasn’t sure anymore so things weren’t great. I found it odd that she would sometimes ask me if I was seeing anyone, she said she was just curious but then we did stuff together


    Anonymous
    September 6, 2015 at 10:00 am #85177

    while i was away she invited me to dinner so we could talk about my trip (shes into travelling) so even though I hoped it was her wanting to spend time with me i took it as her being a friend. Well alittle while ago she let me know that she had broken up with her boyfriend via text that she had called off her wedding and 2 weeks ago she broke it off completely so I started to think what should I do.
    I have no experience in dating so I just tried to be as normal as possible. I tried to invite her to hang out so we can talk in person lately but shes a busy girl so hasn’t been able to happen. I recently traveled and on my travels I decided to get the nerve to make the first move and I opened up to her telling her that I liked and that I hoped we could spend some time together when I got back, just completely honest.


    Anonymous
    September 8, 2015 at 11:40 am #85178

    Her response was very surprised, she didn’t know where to begin kinda suggesting she wanted to explain things, when she opened up to me that it was because “I was a good friend and aa great listener” but that we could talk when I got back.
    I returned and a week later I messaged her again stating that she had done nothing wrong Im the one that had feelings for her and I just wanted her to know and hopefully spend some time together. She got back to me right after but in the form of a random conversation not really talking about my feelings. Ive talked to her again since and nothing. I don’t think its right she hasn’t said anything, id much rather get turned down then not hear anything. I suggested we meet up a few times to talk in person but shes busy with something, she always tells me her full schedule.


    Anonymous
    September 8, 2015 at 11:40 am #85179

    There are somethings that I feel she can put off if she was really interested, I know I would make the effort if I was interested but shes always saying I will let you know for sure. She has never given me a straight up answer so I have no idea what shes thinking and how I should act as I fear if I reply again asking for her thoughts Id be pushy and drive her away but not knowing is even harder. Shes a great girl, very social but her young age may be showing here so I was hoping to get insight from more experienced people


    everything
    Participant
    September 11, 2015 at 3:12 pm #85333

    The friend thing .. When she says friends your stuck in the friend zone, if she just left someone and did not spark things up with you right away that’s kind of telling and you must know by now that she’s not attracted to you physically. Just keep in touch with her if you want a friend. I don’t get my hopes up with women anymore either, so your not alone.


    ovenbakedbread
    Participant
    September 11, 2015 at 4:22 pm #85335

    I agree with the first poster. If I were interested in someone I would make all the effort I could. If you want to stay friends with her, maybe things will change in a few months or years. But as hard as it is, I wouldn’t dwell on it.