Im dating a girl who has a bf!!!! Help me please! :(……

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Im dating a girl who has a bf!!!! Help me please! :(……

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Langly
    Participant
    March 7, 2014 at 4:29 am #48921
    Im dating a girl who has a bf!!!! Help me please! :(……

    Ok, Long story short. I will get on later today to explain more in detail regarding this relationship, but there is a main question I need to ask and need advice on. FYI I need advice on this question by Sat. Morning….

    quick background

    I, Byron, am 26, my friend, Sam, is 21. We are co-Workers, and I am her boss at work.

    Over the last 6 months we have grown very close, and in this past month in a half, Jan. 27th to be exact to this date, it became a lot more physical and close. The issue is I just had a 7 year relationship end, due largely in part because of my growing friendship with Sam, and she has a present 3 year relationship with a guy who she may seemingly be stuck with.(explanation more on that later)(FYI the dude is a complete ass hole and treats her like shit…)

    I feel like a shitty guy, like really shitty, because she is 200% cheating on her current bf like no tomm. But yet has not left him…and i always told myself iI would never be a cheater…….


    Langly
    Participant
    March 7, 2014 at 4:33 am #48922

    I feel like a shitty guy, because she is 200% cheating on her current bf. But yet has not left him…and i always told myself i would never be a cheater…For the record we have not had sex(i will not do that till she leaves him), but we have made out multiple times, and slept together in the same bed.(hers and mine), If the guy wasn’t a complete douche bag I would not be doing this….
    however, I feel like I need to make a desperate move. To make her realize that if she doesn’t make a choice then she will lose me.

    in two days I will be leaving for a 10 day vacation, wherein we obviously wont see each other in person. I have contemplated not calling, texting, or having any communication during these 10 days so she can see what her life will be like without me in it…In other words, if she chooses her bf over me then this 10 day vacation would give her a glimpse of what her life would be like without me…I feel like it would open her eyes to the fact that something needs to happen…

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  Langly.

    Anonymous
    March 7, 2014 at 8:01 pm #48961

    Yeah, it is better to know her intention. This kind of relationship can hurt you.


    azureorb
    Participant
    March 11, 2014 at 3:49 pm #49097

    That is why you don’t become close to female co-workers unless you’re both single AND it’s OK to fraternize with those at work, both officially & unofficially. You’re not going to be “just friends” if there’s mutual attraction if you start to become close — sorry.

    So now you’ve gotten yourself into a pickle because you’ve been tossing your pickle in her, while she has a BF *and* you broke up with your gf because of your infatuation with Sam.

    This isn’t going to work out for the best. It really won’t. You don’t let crushes affect your relationship, and you don’t let a crush slide you into something with a girl expecting her relationship to “poof, go away”.

    Back away from it. Have a talk with her — it’s time to fish or cut bait. If she can’t do that, in a Very Very Clean, Quick way — you’re doomed. I think you know this, and your “gut” wants to ride this out as long as it can. Not a good move.


    lookback21
    Participant
    March 11, 2014 at 4:18 pm #49105

    Ask your heart what you really want


    indychris42
    Participant
    March 16, 2014 at 6:38 pm #49346

    If she would cheat on him, she will cheat on you. Rethink the situation.


    Langly
    Participant
    April 11, 2014 at 6:10 pm #48923

    I kiss her when I see her, and when we leave each other…basically we are dating….this is all possible because shes at college 2 hours away from her BF…….

    However, in two days I will be leaving for a 10 day vacation, wherein we obviously wont see each other in person. I have contemplated not calling, texting, or having any communication during these 10 days so she can see what her life will be like without me in it…In other words, if she chooses her bf over me then this 10 day vacation would give her a glimpse of what her life will be like without me…

    Is this wrong for me to do? Is it selfih? I dont like we are doing, and if I could stop wanting to see her I would….but I cant….ugghhh…Ive fallen so hard for her and I currently can not get back up….

    Help me..

    As I said I will get on later today and explain in more detail what our relationship has actually consisted of so you can decide whether or not she is playing me or has serious feelings for me and what not.


    Langly
    Participant
    April 11, 2014 at 6:10 pm #48925

    I kiss her when I see her, and when we leave each other…basically we are dating….this is all possible because shes at college 2 hours away from her BF…….

    However, in two days I will be leaving for a 10 day vacation, wherein we obviously wont see each other in person. I have contemplated not calling, texting, or having any communication during these 10 days so she can see what her life will be like without me in it…In other words, if she chooses her bf over me then this 10 day vacation would give her a glimpse of what her life will be like without me…

    Is this wrong for me to do? Is it selfih? I dont like we are doing, and if I could stop wanting to see her I would….but I cant….ugghhh…..Ive fallen so hard for her and I currently can not get back up….

    Help…

    As I said I will get on later today and explain in more detail what our relationship has actually consisted of so you can decide whether or not she is playing me or has serious feelings for me and


    Langly
    Participant
    April 11, 2014 at 6:10 pm #48924

    I kiss her when I see her, and when we leave each other…basically we are dating….this is all possible because shes at college 2 hours away from her BF…….

    However, in two days I will be leaving for a 10 day vacation, wherein we obviously wont see each other in person. I have contemplated not calling, texting, or having any communication during these 10 days so she can see what her life will be like without me in it…In other words, if she chooses her bf over me then this 10 day vacation would give her a glimpse of what her life will be like without me…

    Is this wrong for me to do? Is it selfih? I dont like we are doing, and if I could stop wanting to see her I would….but I cant….ugghhh…..Ive fallen so hard for her and I currently can not get back up…

    As I said I will get on later today and explain in more detail what our relationship has actually consisted of so you can decide whether or not she is playing me or has serious feelings for me and


    Langly
    Participant
    April 11, 2014 at 6:10 pm #48926

    I kiss her when I see her, and when we leave each other…basically we are dating….this is all possible because shes at college 2 hours away from her BF…….

    However, in two days I will be leaving for a 10 day vacation, wherein we obviously wont see each other in person. I have contemplated not calling, texting, or having any communication during these 10 days so she can see what her life will be like without me in it…In other words, if she chooses her bf over me then this 10 day vacation would give her a glimpse of what her life will be like without me…

    Is this wrong for me to do? Is it selfih? I dont like we are doing, and if I could stop wanting to see her I would….but I cant….ugghhh…..Ive fallen so hard for her and I currently can not get back up….

    help me please…


    Langly
    Participant
    April 11, 2014 at 6:10 pm #48927

    Hell I live 3 houses down from her so I make it a point to try and see her every day too..
    [/quote]
    I kiss her when I see her, and when we leave each other…basically we are dating….this is all possible because shes at college 2 hours away from her BF…….

    However, in two days I will be leaving for a 10 day vacation, wherein we obviously wont see each other in person. I have contemplated not calling, texting, or having any communication during these 10 days so she can see what her life will be like without me in it…In other words, if she chooses her bf over me then this 10 day vacation would give her a glimpse of what her life will be like without me…

    Is this wrong for me to do? Is it selfih? I dont like we are doing, and if I could stop wanting to see her I would….but I cant….ugghhh…..Ive fallen so hard for her and I currently can not get back up….

    alex@NextRSHIP
    alex@NextRSHIP
    Participant
    April 11, 2014 at 6:11 pm #48943

    First of all, you’re labeling the guy as dbag because you’re on the other side of the fence and you’re seeing things through the eyes of someone who has something to gain (her).

    Secondly, you’re her boss which will create issues in the work environment if things go sour.

    Thirdly, you’re an accomplice in the cheating, so you’re integrity is gone.

    Fourth, If her bf is such a dbag then why hasn’t she left him yet??? it shows what her character is.

    And last, if she’ll cheat with you, she’ll cheat on you. People like these have no integrity. Just be aware that it could happen to you in the future.

    My last thought on this is that you’re caught up in the whirlwinds of the a blossoming relationship and you’re not seeing things clearly. Take some time out and re-assess the situation.