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ClearAsMudParticipantMay 11, 2015 at 10:32 am #78723
I’m currently seeing/chatting/talking to a very attractive recently divorce mother of 2. She is the ex-wife of a high school friend of mine. She has been divorce from him for 2+ years now. She is currently seeing/chatting/talking to Guy # 1 (high school friend of her that works overseas) for the past year. He doesn’t come to the states but once or twice a year. In the last year I’ve been separated from my current wife & now going thru the final stages of my divorce. I reached out to my “friend” on FB f/ advice & see what she was doing to overcome this evil situation (DIVORCE) we were both dealing with. It’s been over 10 months & we talk/chat w/ each other every day, night, morning, etc. She lives about an hour from me & we see each other when time allows on the weekends. We talk about our kids, ex’s, work, family & future thoughts. We click in so many ways it shocks the both of us. She tells me that Guy #1 never asks her about her kids & when there is talks the subject changes. He is always making comments to her about seeing “guys” while he is away. I’ve asked her several times why she never asks him why he keeps telling her that, but she doesn’t want to “ruffle” his feathers. Now when we talk all we talk about is our kids, work, dreams, etc….. Is this a good sign for me?
I know for sure she will never go back to her ex, but this Guy #1 (which paid f/ her to go on a trip overseas) is my issue. She is “caught” between her feelings on which guy to choose. In my heart I feel I should let her go & let my void make her want me more than Guy #1, but the other half of my heart says spend all the available time I have to win her heart & she will choose me. She hasn’t asked Guy #1 about the two of them (& Guy #1 doesn’t know about me), but I’ve well shared my thoughts about us. We both love being w/ each other, we feel safe & honest when we are w/ each other. We both know we can open our minds, thoughts, suggestions w/ each other & we will be supportive to each other. Recently on one of our car trips she asked to hold my hand….Then at the end of the trip my departure she pulled me in for a series of goodbye kisses…WOW! The both of us don’t want to rush back into a relationship, but I’m feeling that every second of the day I’m growing closer & closer to her & IF she doesn’t choose me I will be devastated. I don’t know if she will choose Guy #1 or me….. She keeps telling me that she can’t see the future, any more than she can see tomorrow or the next day. I’m going to continue to be supportive to her & let GOD bring us together or ??? If this is what he thinks is the best for us.
What do you think???
chrisinindyParticipantMay 18, 2015 at 9:23 am #79150
I feel your pain. I’ve been there before and its hard to know the “best” thing to do. Stay or go? Risk wasting your time and losing out, or let her go and risk never taking the chance.
Unfortunately I would guess that neither of you are in the best place in life to start a new relationship. Divorce takes time, even when you think you’re over it. It’s good to have someone to talk with about the things in life that are important. But be realistic about your (and her) ability to be fully committed in a healthy relationship. With kids involved there is even more risk so choose carefully. They’ve been through a divorce already, they don’t need to see another break up in their near future. I think her involvement with #1 is an issue that has to be dealt with — by her. Before you two could have a chance.
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