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Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE accessJune 25, 2013 at 8:38 pm #34211
I am a fairly shy and private person. I am deeply interested in a guy that is like 7 years older than myself. We don’t actually have common friends between each other, only acquaintances. I am not really sure how to show my interest and I am not sure what ‘signs’ to look for to know if he is interested in me… Can someone give me advice??June 27, 2013 at 11:04 pm #34471
I really have a problem with knowing what to do or watch for… I REALLY would appreciate some advice. I don’t really have anyone to ‘get the information’ on him!
lucid_dawnParticipantJuly 23, 2013 at 7:31 pm #35872
Sometimes the best way to find out if someone likes you is to just dive in. Simply start a friendly conversation and go from there. Usually once you start a dialogue with someone you will start to get hints as to whether or not the other person is interested. You can also start sending your own flirtatious signals out and see if he reciprocates.
The nice part is since he’s the guy he will usually pick up on the fact you are interested and take the reigns from there. Often times as a woman all you need to do is make it clear you’re interested by talking and flirting. With some men it might take a few interactions but he’ll eventually pick up that you might like him and if he likes you too he will probably let you know it.
goldenoak84ParticipantOctober 24, 2013 at 5:09 am #41793
i can connect with shy and private. let’s throw in a bit of awkwardness too so i kind of understand how you feel. but like lucid_dawn said, best way to figure out if he’s interested is to talk to him and observe his reactions. i don’t know what your career is, but if you have long lunch breaks, invite him to go eat. figure out what he likes and see if you can connect with him on those topics.. or if you know that he likes certain specific food, bring some to work and “casually” share it with him. you just have to send little signals here and there if you don’t feel comfortable being direct, but he should eventually get a feeling that you’re interested.
RakshasaParticipantOctober 25, 2013 at 2:09 am #41895
Have you tried talking to him online? I often feel like it really helps with being more honest and less shy because you’re not there looking at them and you have the time to really gather your thoughts.
LoveLuster208ParticipantOctober 25, 2013 at 2:27 am #41897
Social media hun. I too can be shy and have no idea how to approach guys, but if he has a Facebook and he knows your name or Face…there’s a reason to add him. Then you can look at what music he likes, movies, hobbies, etc. and casually be like ,”Oh, hey, you like ______ too? That’s really cool…” etc. If you talk to him and he seems willing to open up, as opposed to one word texts/messages, then you may be on your way to being in his life (;
By the way, don’t think just because he’s older that you have to act older. Be yourself, because if there’s anything I’ve learned in life it is that no man who doesn’t want to drink your bath water is worth your time…obviously that’s a BIT exaggerated but you get my point! And don’t be afraid to take things slow. Making sure your man is your best friend is key to relationships. Stay strong and be confident in who you are and what you want from a man!
robson921ParticipantOctober 26, 2013 at 11:52 am #41966
I’m shy myself too but if you don’t try it gets you nowhere, when you get to know this person more you gonna feel more comfortable and you will be more open. Good luck 🙂October 27, 2013 at 6:42 pm #41968
Thanks all. He is on Facebook, but rarely gets on.
I went to an event yesterday that he and some of his friends were the entertainment band. When he saw me, he was shocked/surprised. We had a friendly small chat before they started to play. Afterwards, he came over and asked, “So, how did Esther like the music?” (I had one of my Goldens with me).
Me, having a ‘non-thinking’ moment, responded with, “Well, she did not care for the drums at first, but she got over that.” I think there was a smirk on his face after I said that. **After the event was over, I thought back and realized that he was more than likely asking how I liked the music…**
We also did a little more talking, but more about the upcoming English Country Dance. He said that he should be able to make it (This is taking place on my birthday). Don’t feel like I did all that well with eye contact and all.
12 more days till the next ‘planned’ time we will see/talk to each other.
ESLSamParticipantOctober 27, 2013 at 11:16 pm #41973
I agree with the comments that you need to interact with him. If you show you’re interested in him, he’ll let you know if he likes you too, unless he’s also shy. In that case, is he nervous or awkward around you more than just a casual friend?
transcend_pretendParticipantOctober 28, 2013 at 2:30 pm #42020
Always look for eye contact, too. That’s a key player!October 28, 2013 at 3:36 pm #42022
I am going to try & do better the next time I see him with eye contact & looking for other indications in his body language. I will also have a couple of family members at the event that hopefully will pick up on some of the clues to either being a friend or wanting to be something more. He does not seem that shy, but he may be hiding it under his confidence.
For the LONGEST time (and I still do often), look at everyone’s lips. I think that is part of my nerves & shyness that I am not comfortable with eye contact.
Another thing that has come across in my mind is, could my crush be a ladies man or is he showing me that he likes me? I know I am growing more fond of him, but I want to stop it if he is just wanting to be friends. I have had this crush (sometimes stronger than other times) for somewhere between 3 & 4 years now. Progress in knowing him ONLY when we actually saw & talked to each other.
What do you all think?
TFergusonParticipantOctober 30, 2013 at 4:28 pm #42214
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ChuChuTrickParticipantNovember 9, 2013 at 12:56 pm #42656
It’s not just what to look for, he needs to know that you are interested in him, which can be hard to pick out if a girl is very shy, I don’t know what kind of interactions you have with him, but do little things that don’t push you out of your comfort zone to much…more eye contact, sit a little closer to him, and maybe work up your courage and consider telling him you’re interested in getting to know him.
As far as he goes, you’re going to have to get to know his personality before you’ll be able to really tell whether he is interested or not, some things are similar between guys, but most of us are unique when it comes to expressing interest and affection.
JRyder27ParticipantNovember 12, 2013 at 11:41 am #42699
Kind of a late response, I don’t know the current specifics on this situation. Anyway, my advice from a guy who is not necessarily shy but reserved and as a someone who has trouble gauging interest from females, I would say to just keep talking to him and going to events with him. The more time you spend with him, the more your interest in him will come through. You don’t have to flat out say you like him but show him you like being in his company. If he is interested himself, he’ll eventually come around and ask you out or something. If he is a ladies man as you suspect, the move will come sooner than later.
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