I'm so confused – feel so emotionally paralyzed

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I'm so confused – feel so emotionally paralyzed

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    brad3145
    Participant
    January 10, 2018 at 10:43 pm #162179
    I'm so confused – feel so emotionally paralyzed

    There is this guy who I connect with really well. He seems very conscious of me when I’m around. When we get together with our mutual friends, we have such a great time together. lately, there have been so many other girls coming around our hangout spots. They bee-line for him and his attention or bee-line for me to get to him through me. He’s known to be a very nice gentleman to everyone, but lately his chivalry is a road block to us getting closer. He acts like he wants to see me more but never takes control of his time in order to ask me out and the tension is building with us. He always includes me in stuff with his friends but never 1-on-1. I’ve been through a few situations before where I tried to force the issue myself, which backfired in my face and left me so hurt. I’m afraid of doing that again. one of the girls who likes him has invited us both to a get-together but I’m so tired of the competition dynamics and him not being direct with me. What should I do??


    Jeyna
    Participant
    January 16, 2018 at 8:59 am #162436

    1- He sees you as a friend. You have to make him see you as a women. That means flirt. Slighlty. get his imagination going.
    2- You are too available. Do not make it about him, but about being full by yourself. Set your standard. do not just “hang out” with his friends…
    3- Do not invite him, but find an activity that might be interesting and state your intention of going
    If he invites you, you can say, for example, I’m not much in meeting a crowd today. I’m going hiking, you should come one day.
    Note: You are not asking him out, but you let him know you are interrested in further activities with him alone. “you should come” is the key. Puts no pressure nowhere, and he might event think it was his idea 😉