I'm so scared of it not working out and it is holding me back?

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I'm so scared of it not working out and it is holding me back?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    November 11, 2017 at 11:57 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    carlyjx
    carlyjx
    Participant
    November 12, 2017 at 4:38 pm #155928
    I'm so scared of it not working out and it is holding me back?

    I’ve been dating this guy that I met online for a month. The moment we started speaking, we hit it off, and had so much in common. When we met in person it was even moreso, and it has been a fantastic time so far. He treats me so sweetly, and I feel so lucky to have found him. We see each other 1-2x weekly and each time seems to get better and better.

    However I have had to deal with guys in the past that have totally crushed me mainly due to the fact that they didn’t want commitment. I would fall so hard for them assuming that the feelings were reciprocated but they were not, and I was crushed. This time around with my boyfriend, I obviously now have the commitment that I’ve been wishing for for so long, and with this amazing guy. However there is that underlying fear there that is holding me back from really falling completely for him. I have told him about it and of course he has promised me that he is here to stay, to make this work, etc. But nothing seems to help. Do I just have to give it time?

    • This topic was modified 1 week, 3 days ago by carlyjx carlyjx.

    Bakahboo28
    Participant
    November 13, 2017 at 9:06 am #155969

    I think time would help, but if he really is the one you wouldn’t question it.


    cekma
    Participant
    November 14, 2017 at 9:30 pm #156402

    Just go for it and take it slow, go at his speed.

    Look getting crushed sucks. But not sticking your neck out and being down about what if and could be is worse, you only love once… live!


    missmaris
    Participant
    November 16, 2017 at 11:06 pm #156727

    You have to give up the fear and the neediness. he is with you and he has told you he is there to stay. There is nothing to be afraid of. not all guys are the same and the past is the past. Don’t let your fear sabotage what you have. Let it go. Take a chance and love.


    sarahlovesdolphins
    Participant
    November 20, 2017 at 1:12 am #156933

    Unfortunately, our past experiences with relationship influence how we react to new ones. Take it from me, you have to trust him or you will sabotage the relationship. He has shown you through his actions that he cares about you so take it as a good sign. Now, relax and enjoy it being in a healthy relationship.

    carlyjx
    carlyjx
    Participant
    November 20, 2017 at 7:28 am #156938

    Thanks so much for these pieces of advice!
    Just typing this question out helped me put things into perspective. I realized that my fear is rather irrational, and already I’ve felt a lot more secure and confident in the relationship and where it’s going. I’ve been thinking how I’m actually so relieved that the past relationships didn’t work out so they could lead me to him.