I'm so very tired of my sex life and kinda wanna die

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I'm so very tired of my sex life and kinda wanna die

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Tired
    Tired
    Participant
    August 7, 2017 at 3:53 pm #144521
    I'm so very tired of my sex life and kinda wanna die

    First off I’m 33 I look significantly younger and that kinda messes with dating and so on.

    I have an OKCupid account with an empty inbox. I used to send out 5 or 6 messages a day and sometimes even more. I’d read through some long profile or a girl I thought was cute and if I was interested in what she had to say I’d send a message… and get no reply more often than not. After doing some research I found that to get a 90% response rate as a guy you have to send out 65 messages, also that I’m in an area that has the 2nd lowest response rate. And well, no one ever bothers to send me a message first. So it’s mostly just a depressing waste or time where I invest time and energy to write something to someone who just doesn’t care.

    I’ve changed my profile multiple times as well as thought about what to write in messages and changed that a lot as well… still get the same results.

    Tinder… same thing. Bumble… same thing. doesn’t work out.


    AJS07
    Participant
    August 7, 2017 at 4:42 pm #144530

    The struggle is real man. You’re not alone. I’ve had a couple girls send me messages first, but it hasn’t worked out. I’ve sent messages first with some moderate success. Not much really. Always ends in pain and disappointment either way. I try to send a short message to start. More than just hello, but I try not to spend much time on it. That way when they don’t reply I haven’t wasted much time. I don’t really know what to tell you man because I have the same problem. They always say the right one will come. I hope so


    yodeman18
    Participant
    August 8, 2017 at 9:50 am #144575

    I would try to step away from online dating, or at least try it less. I think across the board the number of responses that men get from women is insanely low (don’t really know why people are so picky with online dating). I would get out and get involved in something, find a hobby that interests you, and a hobby that is popular with women to, for example like an art class or cooking class. Go there to genuinely enjoy it and don’t really worry about meeting someone. Women will notice if you’re just there to meet women and you’ll be more attractive if you just appear to be enjoying life.

    Tired
    Tired
    Participant
    August 8, 2017 at 10:14 am #144525

    Outside of the internet I sometimes, rarer and rarer as time marches on, meet a really wonderful girl who’s got a lot of the same interests in me. Like one girl I met a while ago. She was single, so was I, we talked and talked and had all the same hobbies. She would laugh at my jokes and me at hers and we’d talk for hours. She asks for my number and we’re texting back and forth… then she stops talking to me all of a sudden. When she does again she tells me she has a boyfriend. I met the guy and he isn’t into any of her interests, is out of shape, and has no sense of humor. But the point really is that even when I meet someone who’s into all the things I’m interested in, they’re not interested in me.

    I work out regularly and make sure I dress well and shower everyday and all that. I’ll meet a girl who’s got a lot of similar interests as me who just isn’t into me. I really don’t get it. I’ve been trying to figure it out for years and i’m alone and frustrated.

    Tired
    Tired
    Participant
    August 8, 2017 at 10:14 am #144526

    same thing when I’m talking to someone I meet in person. Even girls who have a lot in common with me aren’t interested in me. I just don’t understand what it is that makes it so no one wants me. But it gradually feels worse and worse and dating is just a lot of work and very frustrating. I get really down and depressed cause of it and just don’t want to experience this anymore.

    I’ve tried to learn how to have better success with dating and just haven’t figured it out. Nothing’s changed. I’m still usually single and girls I like don’t like me and I still get upset and hurt and feel alone and depressed. I try to work on just being happy alone and I can’t seem to do that. I try to work out how to find someone and that doesn’t work either. So I’m just depressed all the time and I want to die.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    August 8, 2017 at 11:40 am #144608

    Dude.. ok.. life lesson and reality check.

    Experience for men vs women for online dating sites is VASTLY DIFFERENT. Women get literally multiple dozens to hundreds of communictions per day! Try keeping up and responding to 100 messages a day AND date! Thus why females hardly ever respond to anything but the people they are MOST interested in. And when we’re talking 100 a day – that should also tell you you need to REALLY stand out amongst 100 a day to get a response.

    Secondly, that also means women don’t have the time to INITIATE anything even if they wanted to (which a LOT of women don’t believe in initiating with men…)

    This is just REALITY when it comes to dating (as a male) and especially online dating.

    Last omponent is – if you’re already got this “nobody is responding.. this is useless” stirring in your head – believe it or not that COMES OFF in anything you do or say online (or in real life) and when is the last time any of us craved dating soembody with that mentality?

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    August 8, 2017 at 11:42 am #144609

    part 2…

    so.. the whole point being. Take it all in stride. Don’t take it personally. The reality explains why it has nothing to do with you. Your job is to stand out more and NOT expect things to fall in your lap (which if you read your words.. you are expecting that even if you put in the effort).

    Reach out to people your interested in.. have fun with it.. then let it go. Consider it a “bonus” if you get a response and it goes well and then get that first date scheduled – let the rest happen.

    stay positive. none of this is a reflection upon you except what you let it do to your head.


    gabe755
    Participant
    August 16, 2017 at 4:55 am #145643

    You need to focus on yourself first as a priority and worry about others second.


    musichog
    Participant
    August 22, 2017 at 9:24 am #146410
    Reply To: I'm so very tired of my sex life and kinda wanna die

    If you are tired of the sex get out now!!


    Angler Bill
    Participant
    August 22, 2017 at 12:03 pm #146461
    Reply To: I'm so very tired of my sex life and kinda wanna die

    There is some good advice on here. I’m 54 and it has been a struggle. It is a numbers game. I highly suggest you look up Corey Wayne and watch and listen to his advice. It is solid and he is dead on.


    dmbvb
    Participant
    August 23, 2017 at 7:24 am #146587
    Reply To: I'm so very tired of my sex life and kinda wanna die

    Online dating is extremely hard… is a numbers game, and we are competing against hundreds of other guys.
    Women have there lots of options, and so they don’t get “saturated” by the immense quantity of males, the sites have an algorythm that makes reciving vires / making contact hard.
    Dont give up, try new things


    swiibsc
    Participant
    August 23, 2017 at 10:27 am #146614
    Reply To: I'm so very tired of my sex life and kinda wanna die

    Come one, just go with the flow