In a relationship and feelings for another guy!

DATING ADVICE FORUM

In a relationship and feelings for another guy!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    jennabriltz
    Participant
    January 14, 2018 at 12:07 am #162399
    In a relationship and feelings for another guy!

    I am currently in a relationship, and I just met this other guy and we get along so well. We are pretty much the same person but different genders, it’s kind of crazy how alike we are. We’ve been hanging out a bit and it’s completely innocent because I do have a boyfriend the problem is, I’m starting to get feelings for him. I can admit that I like having these feelings but I don’t want them and I want us to just be friends. I think he may have feelings for me too but I’m not sure.

    And I’m going to admit that I kind of screwed up a bit. Me and this guy met at a mutual friends house and my boyfriend was there as well. I’m not actually sure if he knows I have a boyfriend because I haven’t mentioned it the few times we hung out. I have no idea what’s wrong with me I just thought maybe it would make things awkward. And now I feel like we’ve hung out too much (6 times) that it would be weird if I just mention it now! Like do I just pretend like I thought he knew cause he was at the party


    xmeza123
    Participant
    January 14, 2018 at 10:15 pm #162425

    Yikes Girl! The more you hang with him, the more your feelings may get deeper.

    You should casually mention it him – just cause it would be the right thing to do.


    Jeyna
    Participant
    January 14, 2018 at 11:52 pm #162430

    I believe that, when we are in a relationship, and we develop feeelings for others, that we are missing something in our relationship.

    What is the new guy bringigng you that your boyfriend don’t.

    I guess, from your message, that it’s that feeling of connection, that you have.

    How can you bring that to your relationship? Maybe you should go on a “date” with your boyfriend, where you would allow each other to “rediscover” yourselves. We tend to thing that because we are with someone, we got to know them, but a new angle can shed a totally different light on someone we “thought” we knew.

    As for the new guy, as xmeza states, you might just try to mention it to him.
    Like “did you try this new restaurant? “name” brought me there the other day.
    and later “yeah, went to see that movie with my bf, loved it”


    amandarose
    Participant
    January 16, 2018 at 8:58 am #162421

    Dump your boyfriend and go out with the other guy. It’s ok to find someone that you get along better with, even if you are in a relationship. It just happened, you didn’t mean for it to. Be honest with yourself.


    Iampl
    Participant
    January 21, 2018 at 8:48 pm #162943

    I think you should ask yourself and be honest with yourself as to which guy you really like and want to be with for the long term then act on it. To me continuing both relationship is not good for ANY ONE OF YOU.


    Ozymandias
    Participant
    January 22, 2018 at 2:23 am #162946

    You need to tell your boyfriend, it’ll be scary at first but you need to have a conversation with him. The dialogue between both of you will determine your next move. You should present your feelings clearly and concisely. You need to ask yourself why is it this man makes you feel so good, and why is your boyfriend suddenly looking more like chopped liver? It might be that your boyfriend simply can’t deliver the kind of attachment that you need, or maybe he can and he just didn’t realize that’s what you needed.

    After you talk with your boyfriend take a break and see what happens. Either your bond gets stronger or you form new ones. Either way it’s not right to keep this from your boyfriend and you need to decide.


    Lina
    Participant
    January 22, 2018 at 6:33 am #162955

    Honesty is the best policy. Tell your boyfriend about it and decide once and for all if you still want your boyfriend over the other guy. Remember, you can’t have both of them at one time because that is not gonna work. You have to choose once and for all who among the two you have big feelings and when you decide, dump the one you think who has lesser impact in your heart and don’t see him again even if he invites. If you want your relationship to work, be a one man woman and don’t cheat. Happiness is in us when we do the right things and everything comes in positive vibration when our heart is clean.


    andy.broadbent
    Participant
    January 22, 2018 at 6:18 pm #163104

    You are in a common situation. Many people have feelings for more than one person at the same time at least once in their life.
    It’s all about honesty, talk about it to your boyfriend and be honest to yourself. What do you want exactly?!

    You might even be lucky and get both if all agree with the situation: everything is possible between consenting adults!

    Good luck!


    ch1910
    Participant
    January 28, 2018 at 10:02 pm #163628
    Reply To: In a relationship and feelings for another guy!

    I agree with kaitlynlily6. Mention that, things could change.


    Hoosier31788
    Participant
    February 2, 2018 at 12:21 pm #164386
    Reply To: In a relationship and feelings for another guy!

    Pimp them both


    cnash31
    Participant
    February 4, 2018 at 12:57 pm #164444
    Reply To: In a relationship and feelings for another guy!

    There’s this saying “People only know what you tell them.” If you don’t tell him you have a boyfriend, he will not know


    noidaguy
    Participant
    February 4, 2018 at 4:46 pm #164449
    Reply To: In a relationship and feelings for another guy!

    same thing happening with me :/


    nervousbutexcited
    Participant
    February 5, 2018 at 3:13 pm #164535
    Reply To: In a relationship and feelings for another guy!

    I think you should take a look at what it is you want in a relationship. If this new guy is filling holes that exist in your relationship, it may be worth exploring why you are so excited by this guy and what it means. Consider if youre in a relationship for the right reasons. Is it possible that the connection you have with this guy are pointing out flaws in your current situation? I don’t believe that having a boyfriend means that that’s it forever. There are too many people to decide that once you choose a partner, they are the one you need to be with until something bad happens and things explode. It is possible that there is somebody out there who is better for you.
    it’s just a matter of determining whether or not your boyfriend is really the perfect guy for you. You need to think about what you want, regardless of what history you two may have, and decide if your relationship is fulfilling those needs.


    nyu
    Participant
    February 6, 2018 at 9:42 pm #164782
    Reply To: In a relationship and feelings for another guy!

    Be with who you feel happiest just be honest and open with the situation


    james.scott27
    Participant
    February 7, 2018 at 3:53 pm #164894
    Reply To: In a relationship and feelings for another guy!

    Just because you’re similar people isn’t always the best. However I know plenty of couples who feel like that towards each over and have had a very successful relationship. It all depends on how you feel. If you have deep feelings for this new guy and believe that you’re going to be happier than you already are you should start seeing him. However you also need to look ahead to what you want to do and your boyfriend and this new guy wants to do because plans might all of a sudden change when things like moving away or work come into play. Keep mindful and go with who you feel happier with.

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