Incredibly complicated situation, need good advice.

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Incredibly complicated situation, need good advice.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Stari_moj
    Participant
    January 26, 2016 at 3:49 pm #92175
    Incredibly complicated situation, need good advice.

    5 years ago i had a crush on a girl I met at my cousins wedding, she is the sister of his wife. We used to live really far away, and I was a unattractive with very low confidence, but despite it I tried to make my move over facebook, I ended up boring her and embarrasing myself, although she was very nice about it. After that I lost a lot of weight and gained a lot of confidence. Recently I met her, because we are in the same city at college, and i remebered how much I like her, and this time she even showed interest in me. I really want to go out with her, but i dont want to mess everything up because she has been my crush for the last 5 years, and she is the sister of my cousins wife. I am really cofused, and I need advice on how to ask her out, and how to not embarras myself again.


    RightURKen
    Participant
    January 27, 2016 at 9:19 am #92238

    Whatever you did was 5 years ago. Done and over. Women are willing to put such things aside with time and that time has pasted. I say ask her out IMMEDIATELY. The longer you wait the harder it will get. What good is your crush if you don’t do anything about it? Seems the stars have lined up for you don’t waste such luck.


    RightURKen
    Participant
    January 27, 2016 at 1:29 pm #92293

    *past* not pasted- typo


    ddpurv
    Participant
    January 27, 2016 at 4:52 pm #92313

    If it were me. I’d confess to being an awkward low confident boob in the past and apologize. Then say something like, now that I’ve address the invisible jackass in the room I was wondering if you’d like to go to dinner tonight with the new me… Do the apologizing in a not to serious attitude but when you ask her out be serious. Look her in the eyes. Good Luck…


    llollsy
    Participant
    January 28, 2016 at 10:53 pm #92410

    just be yourself lol pretend like nothing ever happened


    Anonymous
    January 29, 2016 at 8:31 pm #92445

    Well done on connecting to yourself more and the journey you took to lose weight and gain more confidence! That is not an easy thing to do! This is really simple! It’s impossible to mess this up! If you know how much you are really worth, whether she chooses you or not does not change that. To have a crush on a girl for 5 years means you have definitely built up a fantasy around who you think she is. It is not based in reality and having spent a lot of time WITH her to know you actually like her as a person. That has happened to me before and it drove me nuts! I was put on this pedastal and no one should be there! She is your EQUAL!!!! As long as you view her that way, then she won’t sense how intimidated you are by her. So what if you embarrass yourself! You got over it before and you will get over it again should it happen. Having the confidence to mess up and not really care because it’s just a human thing to do, she will sense that and like that you are resilient.


    Anonymous
    January 29, 2016 at 8:38 pm #92446

    trust me when I tell you that what attracts a woman A LOT is a man who has the strength to risk and who trusts he can handle whatever life throws his way…embarrasment, rejection, failure etc. So TRUST yourself that you will be okay no matter what happens. If she doesn’t respond, then oh well! You”re feelings will be hurt, your fantasy ruined, but THEN….it leaves the door open for a woman who IS responsive to you. I know a TON of good looking, confident men and women who get rejected plenty of times. That is just the healthy reality of dating. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t and someone who never develops the strength and trust in themselves to handle the rejection, is someone who is VERY fragile. NO THANK YOU! That is someone who is going to have a lot of drama and low self esteem. Confidence is best built through the failures and challenges. So look at this experience as a way to practice facing your fears and building your confidence to risk!


    RightURKen
    Participant
    February 5, 2016 at 1:28 am #92978

    Well? what happened? Did you ask her out? Still waiting? Don’t wait, if you do someone else will ask her out and you miss out.