Internal mixed feelings, I feel stuck

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Internal mixed feelings, I feel stuck

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Gib1587
    Participant
    November 17, 2017 at 12:34 am #156736
    Internal mixed feelings, I feel stuck

    I met a girl back in early 2015 at church and we were in a small group together (like a weekly catch up thing). When I first met her I thought nothing of her except that she was a solid, genuine person. There was not one skerrick of attraction that I felt towards her. We became friends and still are, there is a mutual respect and trust I think.

    I noticed back then she would occasionally talk to me and try to sometimes catch up or initiate conversation. I felt like she was trying to come on to me so I was a bit reserved and didn’t really engage too much I wasn’t interested.

    She ended up getting a boyfriend for about 1 year (which i thought nothing of) and broke up with him 6 months ago, she told me when she saw me.

    I feel like I am becoming attracted to her and would never usually go for someone like her, she is pretty, but I am genuinely attracted to her because of her personality and our friendship. But somedays I don’t feel this way because of internal fear. I feel stuck


    zeront
    Participant
    November 17, 2017 at 9:06 am #156743

    Do you two hang out alone at times? If not, that would be a good step too see, if there is any potential connection beyond friendship.
    If you are normally a fairly straight-forward guy you could risk calling it a date.


    Gib1587
    Participant
    November 17, 2017 at 6:35 pm #156880

    Yeah I am a straightforward guy. We’ve never particularly hung out 1 on 1 before. I think the best way to go about it is to just talk to her a bit more and it should sort itself out but at the same time, I don’t want to damage our friendship as I don’t know if I actually really like her. I guess one just has to take risks in life.

    datinglola
    datinglola
    Participant
    November 20, 2017 at 8:33 am #156866

    ask yourself what you are afraid of and why you wouldnt go for someone like her.


    fulcrum211
    Participant
    November 21, 2017 at 12:24 pm #157096

    Hanging out is a great idea. An activity with no strings attached can be a great way to get a feel for things. Just do something fun and relax around her.


    Gib1587
    Participant
    November 30, 2017 at 9:25 pm #158163

    Thanks for the advice everyone. I have been talking to a couple of my really good friends about it and they have been really helpful. So I ended up texting her the other day just asking if she had done her Christmas shopping yet. Long story short I asked if she wanted to come shopping with me. It seemed like a natural conversation and she said she will be busy working full time the next 2 weeks but she wants to talk to me about it this Sunday when we see each other. I have been feeling decent about it, only had a bit of anxiety about it today but I think that is pretty normal.


    Gib1587
    Participant
    December 3, 2017 at 7:38 am #158367

    So I spoke to her tonight, apart from a bit of stuttering at the start it went well. She said she is working this week but to text her, she said she will come as I said I need some help looking for something for mum, which is partly true.