Intimacy issues with partner and difficulty comunicating about it. Some advice?

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Intimacy issues with partner and difficulty comunicating about it. Some advice?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    109ball02
    Participant
    September 15, 2016 at 1:55 pm #111519
    Intimacy issues with partner and difficulty comunicating about it. Some advice?

    The first 3 months, sex like 2x a week. Then it dropped to like once a month. Literally. Been like that for 5 months now. I really love her and Im not with her for sex, I think she gets it by now..

    But I hear other bf/gf having sex a couple times a day, every day, a few times a week. They say once a week means troubles with new couples. We are once a month….

    Ive tried talking to her about it. She says she is happy, she sees me in her future, Im her soul mate etc. A few days ago, I asked her if she is still comfortable about us together physically, she said yes. We proceeded to fool around and have sex. I really enjoyed it and she said she did too. But Im confused. My best guess is she wants me to initiate more, but she doesn’t usually act like she is in the mood. It used to be her initiating all the time.

    -no clue when she is in the mood or if she ever is at all.
    -once a month, so I don’t know what turns her on: what to and not to do.
    -dont know how often she needs sex.


    109ball02
    Participant
    September 15, 2016 at 1:59 pm #111520

    Im just frustrated. Her answer is anways positive. Like everything is fine, she is comfortable with me physically, everything is good great and the best. I got nothing to go by. I get no negative feedback so I have things to change and fix. I don’t even know if its just me, like something that cant be fixed. And I don’t know how to ask her and get an honest direct answer. This is going on for too long now

    I enjoy being with her physically. Am I doomed to be physical with my woman for 20 minutes a month, and then masterbate to a picture of her for the rest of the time?

    joon24
    joon24
    Participant
    November 26, 2016 at 9:42 pm #118158

    I think you should be honest with her and tell her that even though everything is fine for her, you need more intimacy. Ask her how often she would prefer it and what else you can do to get her in the mood and then go from there. Also it may be just a dry spell. Like maybe she’s having some mild depression and that effecting her sexual desire. It’s hard to be in the situation you’re in without feeling like something is wrong with you, but in all honesty it probably is just something going on with her. I hope this helps.

    jadeseashell
    jadeseashell
    Participant
    November 26, 2016 at 11:31 pm #118162

    I think couples can even have a sex calendar, i.e. schedule a few times a week to have sex – this makes a couple prepared for each intimacy, so you can perform well. Can you talk to her about that? You can say it’s a suggestion because you want more intimacy (otherwise, your needs won’t be met in this relationship.)


    loct99
    Participant
    November 27, 2016 at 3:57 am #118173

    over thinking things