Into His Gf Or Me?

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Into His Gf Or Me?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    lilyvalley
    Participant
    June 9, 2016 at 1:25 pm #102592
    Into His Gf Or Me?

    He’s been nice to me, asked to send me study materials to help for my exam, caught him staring, texted me with random excuses to talk than asked to go out for sushi after my exam. HIs grandma and I live in the same apts and he comes here 3 days a week, a year ago I got impatient and called him out on it and said a guy w/ a gf couldn’t be interested in me, he said he was being friendly and has a gf he’s happy with. But the secret stares and the coming around, could it mean something else?
    Also before we got into a fight, He asked one day when giving me gym advice “dont you have a bf to teach you all this?”


    Louie97
    Participant
    June 9, 2016 at 2:32 pm #102602

    exactly! if he claims to have a gf he is happy with then why is he giving you all of this attention? My personal opinion is that he is trying to charm you into being his side chick. You are worth more than that. Don’t fall for his tricks and seemingly nice gestures. Don’t get your hopes up.


    Louie97
    Participant
    June 9, 2016 at 2:59 pm #102605

    and to directly answer your question,he’s clearly into his gf. Despite all of the things he is telling you and doing, at the end of the day he’s still with her and I don’t think he has any intentions of leaving her anytime soon to be with you. I realized that you are smitten by him and that’s understandable considering the descriptions of the charming things he has done for you. However, if you continue to hold on to this belief that you might have a chance with him you may very well end up heartbroken and disappointed. Having been through a similar ordeal, my best advice to you wouldbe to move on to better things and meet other singles. You don’t wanna hold on to a guy who is in a relationship as 9/10 his girlfriend is going to be his #1 priority and you on the other hand are gonna be his #2. Know that you are WORTHY of more than that. I know it will be hard but move on…the best is yet to come and I have faith that you are strong enough to get over him.


    lilyvalley
    Participant
    June 9, 2016 at 3:01 pm #102607

    well the reasoning behind why i’m still holding on is that he and I are the same race, and his grandmother has said that the girl(different race) isn’t for marriage sooo that’s why…And i’ve told him that a guy w/ a gf can’t be interested in me so he already knows that there’s no chance w/ me if he has a gf and he’s still trying to how about the fact that maybe he was trying to get to know me first and I rushed it? @louie97


    Louie97
    Participant
    June 9, 2016 at 9:23 pm #103098

    In light of this information racial similarity that you and the guy share…I have no idea. It’s hard to tell..maybe you over analyzed his gestures. But I,m still sticking to my previous opinions on this matter.


    lilyvalley
    Participant
    June 10, 2016 at 12:21 am #103106

    we’re similiar in EVERY way, same career path, same age, only child and the reason why i’ve hung on is because I”m so picky and rarely do i run into a guy that checks off everything on my list @ louie97 but you do think he’s interested right, maybe he’s scared/shy all this happened a year ago. After that he’s started coming to the apartments dressed nicely


    Louie97
    Participant
    June 10, 2016 at 12:39 pm #103136

    I give up. The choice is yours…all the best.

    sophia
    sophia
    Participant
    June 11, 2016 at 7:34 pm #103214

    Hi lilyvalley,

    I get the whole culture/race thing cause I grew up being told I can only marry from my culture..so I totally get that once you found the guy that fits everything you want in a husband you feel omg i can’t let him go its hard to find one that fits my needs. But I been there so please trust the advice and ignore the irrational voice in your head..hear me out. This guy is flirting with you and loving it, guys do this when they reach a place in their relationship where they still love their partner and don’t want to leave but their bored and a pretty girl they see on a regular bases may be the answer to a little side excitement and by that i don’t mean he intends to cheat. He could just want to have a little harmless excitement where he’s not doing anything wrong and his conscious is clear but he’s still having a little fun (just flirting) at your expense. I know this for a fact because i have done it many times myself to guys. I regret it now cause its mean

    sophia
    sophia
    Participant
    June 11, 2016 at 7:45 pm #103215

    The fact that you confronted him and he denied it shows he’s just not that into you. Im sorry I know its a hard pill to swallow when you like someone but he likes you a little and obviously loves his girlfriend..think about it he’s not married so he can leave and be with you if he liked you more its not hard to switch partners when there is no marriage or kids involved. He wants to have your attention and play mind games, some people enjoy playing mind games and watching someone fall for them and I know you think no he’s not like that you don’t know him he’s sweet and charming and kind and Im sure he likes me. Well I was one of those charming assholes and while i’m not anymore I know the patterns and behaviors. that type scrams as soon as you call them out on their bull which you did (GOOD FOR YOU!!). when a guy likes a girl they don’t freak when she mentions it, they’re usually relieved that its out on the open and attempt to pursue something with you. instead he stayed with her soooo

    sophia
    sophia
    Participant
    June 11, 2016 at 7:53 pm #103216
    Reply To: Into His Gf Or Me?

    And one more thing…never ever go for guys that flirt with you while having a partner..THEY WILL DO IT TO YOU!! they have the cheating jean. they get bored in relationships and eventually find fun else where and you will always have doubts bout their fidelity and you don’t want that life..its miserable not to be able to trust your partner


    lilyvalley
    Participant
    June 11, 2016 at 8:12 pm #103217
    Reply To: Into His Gf Or Me?

    Sophia, the way I approached it might have scared him and backed him into a corner. I started off by saying why do you think a guy would beat around the bush when he likes a girl and he said he didn’t know and it depends on the guy and i kept going with it and he said are you trying to go somewhere with this? then i said yeah you have these random excuses this ant that and he didn’t own up and we fought in a bad way. Now he sees me outside and smiles but at the same time he’s also a shy guy i can tell from his movements. He also had asked to go out to eat together. and his texts were getting more frequent. Do you think he was trying to get to know me first and know that I liked him before anything? @sophia how should I move forward from here? He comes to the apts often and has started dressing nicely since the fight. How can I tell if he is?


    JamesSM
    Participant
    June 13, 2016 at 7:13 am #102598

    Sounds like both.. I have a friend like this maybe he’s happy with his Girlfriend but wants something to progress with you.

    sophia
    sophia
    Participant
    June 13, 2016 at 7:13 am #103229
    Reply To: Into His Gf Or Me?

    He does like you, just not more than he likes his gf hence why he won’t leave her for you. what your doing wrong is your blaming yourself for calling out a guy who is obviously flirting with you while he has a g. You didn’t do anything wrong! you had every right to get mad and call him out. In fact when men are put in heated passionate confrontation about matters of the heart, they may react weird at first but if they truly want you, that fight would ignite a sense of urgency in going after the girl they want or they realize, shoot i guess i went too far with the whole flirting thing, i don’t wanna mess things up with my girl. He didn’t come running back to you after you expressed your frustration, that should tell you he doesn’t like you ENOUGH. Im sorry hun but you gotta move on, he’s having fun at your expense and your wasting your time when you should be focusing on finding someone who knows what he wants and isn’t taken.

    sophia
    sophia
    Participant
    June 13, 2016 at 7:13 am #103231
    Reply To: Into His Gf Or Me?

    here’s the best part, to get a guys attention don’t pay him any attention. from now on your job is to ignore him without making it obvious, just act indifferent, if he looks don’t look at him but if he says hi of course say oh hey and make it seem your in a rush to go whether its inside your apartment or if your leaving even better (stay allusive don’t say where your going or what your doing keep it vague), heyyy sorry gotta run. he’ll be the one writing to this site wondering what happen to the cute girl who gave me attention. if he truly likes you he’ll know he’s losing you and he’ll come running, shy or not trust me unless he’s under 14 he’ll come to you, if he doesn’t he doesn’t like you enough. remember you made it easy for him all he has to do is acknowledge his feelings for you.

    if you can manage to be seeing with a guy whether its a friend or date (go on online dates) you will see he’s behavior change. it will also help you move on and soon you’ll forget him


    lilyvalley
    Participant
    June 13, 2016 at 11:52 am #103309
    Reply To: Into His Gf Or Me?

    well the thing is it ended PRETTY Badly I told him to not message me and not make excuses to talk to me. I’ve unblocked him about 6 months and his stares and smiles have been happening. @ sophia

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