Is he a dud? Did I do something Wrong?

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Is he a dud? Did I do something Wrong?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    trinketz
    trinketz
    Participant
    December 4, 2017 at 2:52 am #158393
    Is he a dud? Did I do something Wrong?

    Hi everyone, I met a guy a few years ago and he asked me out, but the timing wasn’t right. I had a lot going on, and have also experienced abuse in a past relationship, and as a child, so have major trust issues. Also, I’ve gained a lot of weight, and not confident. Anyway – we kept in touch on and off, and he would ask me out each time, and each time I said no. He would tell me things like he loved me, and he would drop everything (and anyone he was with) to be with me because he felt like there was a connection. I ended up opening up to him about my past relationship and insecurities, and he was supportive and still wanted to date me. We went on our first date over the weekend and ended up having sex. When he got there he jokingly asked me when I was going to kick him out, then after we had sex he said he was falling asleep then said he had stuff to do and left. He sent a txt when he got home and again today, but was vague about catching up again. Have I been played?

    trinketz
    trinketz
    Participant
    December 4, 2017 at 3:04 am #158394

    Also just to add, while we spent time together he was talking about future dates, but then when I texted him later he said ‘yeah sure – let me know when you’re free and we will get together, depending on my work schedule’. I just feel like that’s a ‘Yeah….But no thanks’ kind of answer. Am I reading too much into this? Should I text again or just leave things and wait for him to text me? By the way, he initiated the texting today – I didn’t want to seem desperate and bombard him with texts right away.


    penpal99
    Participant
    December 4, 2017 at 5:02 am #158397

    just let him continue to reach out to you, Im kinda on the same boat, and my guy has been sending the first txt, with a good morning…anywho, i would wait for him to ask you out on a second date and if he tries to end the night with sex, dont let him, tell him you’d like to slow things down, just reassure him that your not regreting it but you would like to know where things are going before having sex again

    trinketz
    trinketz
    Participant
    December 5, 2017 at 8:51 am #158992

    Thanks Penpal99.

    Further to this the few texts we exchanged were just awkward, and he hasn’t texted me at all today. I’m kind of worried now that I was played and I’m about to be let down 🙁

    trinketz
    trinketz
    Participant
    December 5, 2017 at 8:52 am #158993

    So not much texting at all today. I’m really starting to worry that I have been played and he is just ignoring me. Is it ever OK to send an upfront text and say ‘hey – Do you want to see me again?’. He was just so full on and supportive, and really into texting me before we had our date and now it’s like the opposite. I just don’t know what to think, but I’m also worried I’ll seem desperate if I send messages. I just feel so silly and want to know what’s going on. On the one hand I don’t want to text him and be annoying, but on the other what if he thinks my lack of texts is a lack of interest on my part?

    trinketz
    trinketz
    Participant
    December 5, 2017 at 8:57 am #158995

    I’m not sure if any of my replies are getting through because it says I’ve submitted a comment but then I see nothing – so apologies if there are duplicate responses.

    Hardly any texts today. I really feel like I”m being ghosted. I don’t know what to do! I really just want to text him but I don’t want to seem desperate. On the other hand, what if he is thinking the same, or thinks that if I’m not texting him, then I’m not interested.
    Is it ok to send him a message and ask if he wants to see me again and be upfront about it, or is that too full on??

    trinketz
    trinketz
    Participant
    December 5, 2017 at 8:58 am #158996

    He didn’t really send any messages today 🙁 I’m starting to get worried. I don’t want to seem desperate, but at the same time I just want to know what is going on. Is it ever OK to just be upfront and ask ‘Do you want to see me again, or is this dead in the water?’. I tried to initiate messages today after he did yesterday, and didn’t get much out of him at all. I just have a horrible feeling I’m being ignored 🙁


    tomydel
    Participant
    December 5, 2017 at 4:56 pm #159156

    Definitely ok to be upfront!