Is he too old for me? What should I do?

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Is he too old for me? What should I do?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    felicitySmoak
    Participant
    December 9, 2014 at 8:26 pm #68938
    Is he too old for me? What should I do?

    Hi! Get ready for a long question! I have a problem… I am interested in a guy, but I wonder if he is too old for me… I am 19 years old sophomore (almost 20) and I just transferred to a new college. I transferred here because I am working and paying my own way through college so I really couldn’t afford a private college tuition.
    Most people think I am older than I am because I rent my own place (cost split with roommate) and I have a job, and people have told me i act mature. They usually guess at least 3 years older than I am.
    When I transferred here, I re-met someone I knew when I was little. I didn’t know he went to the college, but he happened to attend the same club I started to go to each week on campus. He is 27 year old junior. He is still attending college because he joined the marines before coming here.
    Our families have been friends for longer than either of us have been around, but we lived in different states so I haven’t seen him for years,
    We come from similar backgrounds and we hold the same values. We hang out at least once a week because of a college club we both are members of. I really like him, but I wonder, is he too old for me? Also, how can I show him that I am interested? The last time we saw each other before I came here was when I was 8 and he was 16… I think he thinks of me like a little sister. He is pretty protective, for example, sometimes our college club goes swing dancing together. There was a creepy guy not backing off, and he came and rescued me. It’s happened more than once actually, either by asking for a dance, or telling the guy to back off. When we hang out, he often jokes about how old he is (he is a bit older than most of the people in our college friend circle). He also sometimes teases me about things he remembers me doing when I was little.
    I don’t know… He is a really good guy, I like him, but I don’t know how to make myself seem more like date material instead of little sisterly. And plus, am I too young to even try to catch his eye?

    Sorry for the long windedness,
    Thanks for your time!


    HisPresence
    Participant
    December 10, 2014 at 6:54 am #68940

    So you are 19, almost 20 and he is 27 right? I don’t see what is the problem, since you are over 18 so you are an “adult” by law.
    8 years difference can be a lot but it not if you are mature, and can communicate well with him. Just get to know each others; take it slow, and let things happened naturally.

    JChristie
    JChristie
    Participant
    December 12, 2014 at 3:09 pm #69112

    it is very cool that you found this person by chance. and finding the right person is also great.

    but you are in college and working, and only 20 years old. what do you want for your life? will he let you finish school? does he support your study habits?

    if he really is a great guy, he will be patient with you, and give you the space you need to grow and become the person you want to be.

    does he want kids soon? do you? what do you want from a reltp? a big mistake is to not be clear what values we hold, and are looking for in a partner. i am concerned that since you knew him before, you think you know him. and this may not be true.

    we all need love, but if we go in blindly, we won’t get the results we are looking for. we have to know what we want before we can find it!


    User2014
    Participant
    December 12, 2014 at 3:29 pm #69114

    No age barrier in love.


    gigglesandsmiles
    Participant
    December 13, 2014 at 10:01 pm #69141

    Age is just a number. My fiance is 20 and I’m 23. Now, he’s a male… and more immature. but in your case, he may be on the same page as you 🙂


    dukes05
    Participant
    December 14, 2014 at 5:18 pm #69153

    Thats not that much of an age difference, I have friends who are 12 years apart, and they are happily married for a few years now.


    snowwhite0214
    Participant
    December 15, 2014 at 12:43 pm #69181

    I don’t think that’s a huge age difference. You might have to work harder to make sure you have shared common interests etc. but it could definitely work. I would suggest telling him how you feel about him; he may be completely oblivious.