Is it a bad sign if she doesn’t suggest a new time for us to hangout?


Is it a bad sign if she doesn’t suggest a new time for us to hangout?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    May 9, 2018 at 12:20 pm #172674
    Is it a bad sign if she doesn’t suggest a new time for us to hangout?

    The past year in college, I began hanging out with a group of girls that I met from class. The majority of them friendzoned me, but we were just friends and I was cool with that. There was one of the girls that I thought I may have a shot with so I suggested to her roommate ‘what do you think about me and Daisy?’ She thought it was a good idea and so did the rest of the roommates Fast forward a few weeks and the other roommate asked me ‘what ever happened to you asking out daisy?’ I told her that I haven’t seen her and I wanted to wait and ask her out in person. We went out for Daisy’s birthday a week or two later and I made a suggestion that I should take her flying as I fly recreationally. She seemed to get excited and said ‘Yeah! You’ve never taken me before!’ So I tried to initiate a time and she said she was busy with work and finishing up finals for the last few weekends in April. I figured it was legit and I still believe it was. So the next time that I saw her I talked to her

    May 9, 2018 at 12:21 pm #172675

    Continue: I talked to her about flying and she seemed kind of reserved but still somewhat interested, I told her that I will let her know on the the next nice day and she said something along the lines of ‘oh yeah, no pressure’. So I text her the following week and suggest that we go one evening and she sends me this text: ‘Oh that would’ve been sick! But I don’t think I’ll be able to, this weekend I’m having to take certification to work in the ER and it goes til 530am and then when I get back I have to work on finals but thanks for checking, have fun!’ She didn’t make any suggestion for an alternative time which makes me wonder if she’s really interested or has just been friendly this whole time. Her friends also told me that she has never gone out on a date, so I think that’s why they want me to take her out. She’s kinda hard to read and I haven’t talked to her since then. It’s been about 2 weeks or so since that message exchange.

    May 10, 2018 at 9:22 am #172726

    I don’t think it’s a bad sign. She maybe just busy and not ready to date or does not think she has the time. You have extended your invitation on several occasions now pull back. When she’s ready she give off the cues and signals.

    May 10, 2018 at 10:15 am #172763

    how about suggest her something light? like grabbing a coffee or something.

    May 10, 2018 at 1:16 pm #172810

    It could be a bad sign, or it could not be. The only way to figure it out is to keep the conversation going with her and try to ask her again yourself. However, as you have already brought up the idea of dates several times, I would continue to converse with her as normal for a bit before asking her out again. You don’t want to hound her by repeatedly asking her out rapid fire. She may need more time to warm up to you.

    I see 3 possibilities here:

    1) She needs more time to get to know you before she can commit to dating. Some girls are just like that.
    2) She’s not interested, and her not giving you an alternate time is a subtle way of letting you know that.
    3) She may still want to date you, but she either forgot or just doesn’t realize that the polite thing to do is to offer alternate times if she can’t meet with you.

    That’s what it could be. You’re going to need to talk to her more to find out. Good luck!

    I also agree that your first date should be light, coffee or tea.

    May 11, 2018 at 8:43 am #172825

    Thanks all for the replies. Here’s the reason I have chosen to take her flying for our first ‘date’. The other girls from the group have flown with me several times on joy rides around the city. I told them that I would like to take Daisy and they said it would be a good idea and I should do it. The second reason is because I’d like to bring her into my world simply because I’m not real sure how much I have in common with this girl, so I figured if I can bring her into my world (Aviation) than it may help break the ice rather than just sitting at a coffee shop. Good idea or bad idea?

    May 15, 2018 at 8:51 pm #174298

    I wouldn’t say it’s necessariky a bad sign. Everyone is different though…

    May 19, 2018 at 4:40 pm #174656

    I don’t think it’s a bad sign